What is Marriage counselling?

Marriage counselling (couples therapy) is a type of psychotherapy. Marriage counseling helps couples recognize and resolve conflicts, learn new communication and behavioural skills and develop plans to improve their relationships. Through marriage counseling, you can make thoughtful decisions about rebuilding your relationship. In some situations we meet about going your separate ways in the most productive and non-confrontational manner possible, especially important for families with children.

Marriage counseling is often provided by registered therapists known as Registered Marriage and Family Therapists (RMFT in British Columbia, LMFT in Washington State). These therapists have graduate or postgraduate degrees — and many choose to become credentialed by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). Most MFTs have two years of full time supervised clinical experience providing therapy before working independently. (Compared to a required 100 hours by unregulated counsellors).

Marriage counseling is focused and short term. Marriage counseling typically includes both partners, but sometimes one partner chooses to work with a therapist alone. The specific treatment plan depends on the situation. Sometimes entire families participate in sessions.

In my practice I provide marriage and couple's therapy using a selection of therapeutic interventions best suited to your needs. These include Systemic Family Therapy, Gottman Family Therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, AKA ACT, a form of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. As a clinician offering marriage and couple counselling I hold a graduate degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, a doctoral degree in Clinical Psychology, an Advanced Certificate in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy from the Albert Ellis Institute in New York as well as a license/registration in Psychology. I have also completed nearly 100 hours of Gottman specific training and have a background in mediation and law.

Please visit my website for information on my services in Marriage and Couple Therapy. I have offices in Burnaby, Vancouver and Seattle, Washington.

http://www.relatedminds.com/couple-family-therapy/

Child, Teen and Young Adult Therapy / Counselling

Dr. Jim Roche provides paediatric psychological services working with all age groups. This includes children, teens and young adults with problems of emotional regulation, anger management, learning disabilities, social deficits (Asperger's Disorder) and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

This includes parent education, behavioural therapy, cognitive behaviour therapy and testing and assessment.

His offices are located in Burnaby and Vancouver. For more information on child, teen/adolescent and young adult therapy and testing please visit his web page at www.relatedminds.com

Couples Therapy, Vancouver, Burnaby

Dr. Jim Roche is a Registered Psychologist and Marriage and Family Therapist with offices in Burnaby and Vancouver, British Columbia. He has just expanded his office hours and moved to two new locations. Dr. Roche provides cognitive behavioural therapy, Gottman based Marriage and Family Therapy and couple's therapy.  He has been licensed in the field of Marriage and Family Therapy for over 25  years.  Serves are usually covered by extended health care plans.

For further information please visit his web page at www.relatedminds.com or http://www.relatedminds.com/couple-family-therapy/

Couples, Marraige Therapy and Parent Training

Dr. Jim Roche, Registered Psychologist

I provide couples therapy / marriage therapy and parent education for individuals dealing with family issues relating to autism, Aspergers, ADHD and other related disorders. Please visit my web page at: www.relatedminds.com  for full information.

Couples Therapy / Marriage Counselling Vancouver: Is Gottman right for you?

Dr. Jim Roche is a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist and Registered Psychologist in British Columbia. He has offices in Vancouver and Burnaby. He provides couples counselling and marriage therapy using several different techniques as appropriate, including behavioural therapy, cognitive behaviour therapy for marriage issues and the Gottman Family Therapy method. Information about his couples counselling practice can be found any of these sites: http://www.relatedminds.com/couple-family-therapy/
www.relatedminds.com
http://psyris.com/drjimroche
http://www.psychologists.bc.ca/users/jimroche

www.therapistlocator.net/member?226046

http://psychologybc.weebly.com

Is Gottman Family or Couple Therapy right for you?

I almost always recommend the Gottman books to my patients, These range from: The Relationship Cure to The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work to Why Marriages Succeed or Fail...And How you Can Make Yours Last. These are great books to go along with the couples or marriage therapy that I provide, and a nice thing is they are also available in audio format for that member of the family you are simply not going to get to read this materials.

Gottman provides a great outline and schema to understand relationships and communications that isn't burdened down with outmoded theories as some other couples therapies are. And they are backed by some research. Not the best research in the world, but honestly, the best research in the field. Before learning about Gottman Couples Therapy I studied in New York with Harvelle Hendricks and welcomes what was a less "psychoanalytic" approach, and one that was based upon real data, not just individual observations and ...well...thinking stuff up.

Still, when couples come in for counselling often they are just not ready to engage in Gottman Therapy. The reasons can vary: Some of the couples I see have ADHD as a contributing factor - a powerful factor - to their relationship problems. Others have similar cognitive problems. I see many couples where one had Asperger's Disorder or autism spectrum disorder. These couples, with ADHD and Aspergers, need psychoeducation on the nature of these disorders, and then specific skill training in the area of concern. Regretfully a number of family therapists without sufficient knowledge and experience dealing with /ADHD or Asperger's Disorder still see these couples rather than referring them on to someone experienced in the field. Part of that is there are very few family counsellors or psychologists with both expertise in family or couples therapy AND ADHD or Aspergers.

Often with these couples Gottman Therapy would be inappropriate, and sometimes couple's therapy is inappropriate as well, and I see one member of the couple for several weeks and then work with the couple together to see how my interventions have helped, and to provide ongoing support for the member without ADHD or Asperger's. A lot of that involves psychoeducation and behavioural planning.

Another group for whom Gottman Family or Couples Therapy might not be appropriate are couples where one member has significant mental health issues, or anger management issues. In these cases I often see the partners separately and work on behavioural training in anger management, cognitive therapy and sometimes issues relating to more severe problems such as bipolar disorder or depression. It's not uncommon for me to have the couple's family doctor make a referral for one member to the UBC or other Mood Clinic and to a psychiatrist for help with more severe mood or cognitive distortions that make couples work inappropriate at the moment. Make sure your therapist is not afraid of making appropriate referrals. Not all problems can be dealt with by addressing issues within the couple or issues of communication. Often that can lead to frustration and further problems.

What alternatives are there for others with mild issues of mood such as depression, anxiety, anger or stress? Many couples with these issues come in and I see one partner individually for CBT - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - using materials and skills from Aaron Beck, Judith Beck and other well know cognitive behavioural therapists who have experience working with both individuals and couples. This is often the best path to go.

And Gottman? I almost always still suggest using Gottmans Couple Therapy books or audio programs, watching the Gottman Institutes many videos and still working on those issues that make a marriage or any relationship last. But sticking to one approach, and seeing every problem through the lens of couples therapy and communications, isn't always the best thing.

For more information on my services, please feel free to contact me through one of the web pages above. As always, this blog, and what I write here, is not meant to be medical or psychological advise. It serves as information to help you understand choices and what is available. See your family doctor or a registered psychologist if you need help with any relational or mental health issue.

A new book for Couples with ADHD | Adult ADHD

Much of my practice is working with teens, young adults and adults with ADHD in the Vancouver and Burnaby area. Almost all of my patients have seen one or more other therapists for relationship or couples therapy due to the problems associated with adult ADHD. Seldom do they seem satisfied. A recent post addressed some of the issues and research published by the American Psychological Association about adult ADHD and couples therapy and how traditional couples therapy fails to take into account the elephant in the room - ADHD. This is very apparent when I ask these couples about what they have done in previous therapy. "Talked." is the usual answer. "Talked about communication." I then ask for any specific skills or tools they have been taught, and the vast majority of the time I get a none answer. None. Thy can't remember or were not taught any tools, either about communications or specifically how to deal with adult ADHD. This is disturbing as couples seem to spend lots of money, time and effort not learning some basic skills. Seldom do couples even recognize the major names in the field, names of individuals who have published the major books that EVERYONE with adult ADHD should have. For example, Dr. Russell Barkley.

I often send couples to Dr. Barkley;'s website and youtube channel where quickly they get up to speed on the facts about adult ADHD. Treatment for mental health disorders should almost always start with psycho-education - learning about your disorder. Dr. Barkley's site helps that happen quickly. Often times is starts a dramatic shift in the relationship because couples learn that what seemed hopeless is indeed hopeful. ADHD is more readily treatable than anxiety, depression, OCD or about any other outpatient disorder. And treatments, both medical and psychological, have a long long history of decades of success. Research is bountiful. And adult ADHD is no where near as unusual as they may have thought.

Thats why I am always surprised, and confounded, when patients who have had years of couple and individual treatment because of behaviours relating to ADHD cannot tell me a skill, tool or even recognize a name in the field!

Therapy is costly, and while MSP doesn't cover psychological services in BC (in the vast majority of North America psychological services ARE covered by insurance) most extended halt care plans do cover some of the costs. Still, there are limits, so I often focus treatment so that it works in tandem with self-help -do-it-yourself - workbooks or books. I often suggest getting a copy of 1  or 2 of Dr. Barkley's books, but these are big. More like a good reference book you SHOULD have, maybe something by Dr. Hallowell, and finally something directly about couples with adult ADHD. While I haven't found a perfect adult couple ADHD book I have found several that are good enough. (A perfect one would be much, much shorter than those available. Couples with adult ADHD simply do not have the time to read 3-400 pages! But, remember, all these books are available on Kindle, Kobo and usually audible.com to listen to!)

One recent book I've reviewed I would suggest you look at is ADHD and Marriage by Meissa Orlov and Dr. Ned Hallowell. "The Effects of ADHD on Marriage" addresses how to change your interactions - and behaviours- not by trying harder but by trying different! It tells you what effective treatment should look like (VERY HELPFUL for the consumer), dealing with emotions, setting boundaries and has several really useful tools and skills. It's a great place to start, and you can use it with your therapist or on your own. Take a look and then find yourself a therapist. But, maybe think about that research I mentioned on therapy that works or doesn't work - you need a therapist who is both an expert in marriage/relationship counselling, and someone who REALLY understands ADHD.

A relationship therapist - I would look for someone who is a registered marriage and family therapist, a member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy or the British Columbia Association for Marriage and Family Therapy rather  than just any "counsellor." Members of AAMFT have two years of full time supersede clinical experience doing nothing but couple and family therapy, compared to a course or two others might take. And ADHD. Find someone who is also a psychologist and had some clinical training in ADHD or neuropsychology. You can find a dual trained person on the BCAMFT website.

For information  about me and my practice with children, teens and adults with ADHD please visit my website at www.relatedminds.com or www.relatedminds.com/adhd or at the British Columbia Psychological Association site at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/70682 or http://www.psychologists.bc.ca/users/jimroche

I have offices in Vancouver near Broadway, and in Burnaby near Lougheed Mall. My services are covered by most extended health care plans.

Couples Therapy for Adult ADHD | A Review

On my ADHD blog I've written a new entry on ADHD and Couples Therapy. New research has shown that it far better to work with a therapist who has specific training in adult ADHD than to see a regular marriage or family counsellor as they may not have an understanding of the complexity of ADHD and how it interferes with the couple's progress in couples therapy.

For a look at this blog please click here: http://adhdvancouver.blogspot.ca/2014/07/adult-adhd-testing-and-treatment-focus.html

For more information about adult ADHD, including testing, assessment, diagnosis and treatment, please visit my website at www.relatedminds.com/adhd or at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/70682

Dr. Roche is a registered psychologist and registered marriage and family therapist working in Vancouver and Burnaby, British Columbia.

What is an MFCC? (Marriage, Family and Child Counsellor)

MFCCs or RMFTs are professional therapists/counsellors who are either licensed or registered with their state or provincial regulatory boards, or members of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). Information about AAMFT can be found here: http://www.aamft.org

In most jurisdictions individuals trained and licensed/registered as RMFT's are the professional of choice for those seeking help with child behaviour or emotional issues such as depression, anxiety or anger management.

Here in BC the British Columbia Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (BCAMFT) registers individuals who have meet the high standards of education and training used by the AAMFT and most jurisdictions for licensure or registration. The are usually referred to as "Marriage and Family Therapists" or MFTs. The AAMFT publishes their standards for training which includes a graduate degree focused on counselling within the family system (other groups call for a few counselling courses) and two years of supervised full time experience in the field.

RMFT's in British Columbia are trained to work with children, providing counselling / therapy for issues such as childhood anxiety, childhood depression, behaviour management issues, sibling issues, aggressive behaviour and anger management. In my own practice as both a Registered Psychologist and Registered Marriage and Family Therapist I have completed four years of supervised training in community clinics, private practice and hospital settings. Additionally I have worked with school districts throughout the United States and Canada as a behaviour specialist, providing teacher training, workshops and individual consultation on cases of severe behaviour problems.

Much of my time as a child and adolescent therapist is spend specifically working on issues of behaviour management in the home, aggression, depression and anxiety in children and teens.

Information on my practice as an RMFT can be found at my web site: www.relatedminds.com

In addition to working with children and teens generally I also provide consultation and counselling services as a member of ACT's approved behaviour interventionist program for children with Autism and Asperger's Disorder. Please visit my website for further information and to set up an appointment today.

My Vancouverautism blog often contains comments and information on child behaviour therapy that might interest you as a parent. It can be found at: http://autismvancouver.blogspot.ca/2014/07/using-visual-supports-positive-autism.html  A recent post on aggressive behaviour in children and teaching anger management skills can be found here: http://adhdvancouver.blogspot.ca/2014/07/oppositional-defiant-disorder-and-child.html  This post addresses the issue of Oppositional Defiant Disorder or ODD and parent focused training programs.

Please feel free to visit my web page and contact me directly if you are interested in setting up an appointment.

Marriage and Family Counselling | Burnaby | Vancouver | Coquitlam

Gottman based Couple and Family Therapy is available, along with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) in my offices in Burnaby and Vancouver. Gottman Therapy is a structured approach to changing behaviour and communication style between members of a couple or family. I highly advices Dr. Gottman's recent books: "The Seven Principals for Maring Marriage Work," and "Why Marriages Succeed or Fail." Both of these books are available in book form or through Audible.com if you'd rather listen on your iPod, phone or other device.

CBT- Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is another approach often used in my office, either by itself or in combination with Gottman techniques for couple therapy or counselling. Some patients have found Dr. Aaron Beck's "Love is Never Enough" to be very helpful. This book on couple's counselling/therapy comes from a much more behavioural point of view.

Finally, in my office I see a number of couples who have issues relating to Aspger's Disorder as a central concern. I have been working with young adults and adults with Aspeger's for over twenty years, first starting in California working with Michelle Garcia Winner. While there is a limited number of books for adults with Asperger's Disorder David Finch's book, "The Journal of Best Practices," which is a "memoir of marriage, Asperger's Syndrome and one man's quest to be a better husband" has been found to be very useful. I also spend a great deal of time working with couples with ADHD, OCD and related cognitive disorders, making use of my post graduate training in neuropsychology as well as marriage/couple and family therapy. In addition to being a registered and licensed psychologist I am additionally a registered marriage and family therapist and Fellow of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy and a Clinical Member of the British Columbia Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (Counsellors)/

For more information please visit my web page below, and feel free to call my office. Other sites which have information about my practice are also listed below.

Dr. Jim Roche
relatedminds (at) gmail.com

You can find me at any of the following pages:

http://psyris.com/drjimroche

http://www.relatedminds.com

http://www.actcommunity.ca/profiles/224/

http://www.psychologists.bc.ca/users/jimroche

www.therapistlocator.net/member?226046

Couples Therapy | Marriage Counselling | Burnaby | Vancouver

Dr. Jim Roche provides marriage and couple therapy / counselling in his offices in Burnaby and Vancouver. Dr. Roche is both a Registered Psychologist and Registered Marriage and Family Therapist, as well as a Clinical Member and Fellow of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. He has over 25 hers experience in the field working with couples and families in therapy.

Dr. Roche is trained in systemic therapy, as well as the Gottman Therapy Method. He provides therapy for those who feel stuck in their relationships, and want to learn and explore new skills and ways of communication.

Marriage and Couples Therapy can be used to address:
Problems with communication
Anger issues
Sexual difficulties
Conflicts about child rearing
Substance abuse
Infidelity
Divorce or separation issues

The Gottman Couples/Marriage Therapy method addresses several similar issues:
Increasing respect, affection and closeness between you
Learning techniques to break through and resolve conflicts when you feel stuck
Gaining a better understanding of who each of you are in the relationship
Learning how to keep conflict discussions calm
and How to maintain improvements in your relationships.

Couple or marriage therapy usually starts with two or three weekly sessions during which we assess the situation and determine mutual goals, and then weekly every other week sessions using skills and reviewing their use in the relationship.

Two books I highly recommend reading (or at least reviewing) before coming to therapy include, "Why Marriages Succeed or Fail," and "The Seven Principals for Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman.

For more information about setting up an appointment for marriage therapy or couples counselling please visit my website at: http://www.relatedminds.com/couple-family-therapy/  or www.relatedminds.com

Couple and Marriage Therapy in Vancouver | Burnaby

Dr. Jim Roche is a Registered Psychologist and Marriage and Family Therapist providing counselling and therapy to individuals, couples and families in Burnaby and Vancouver. Dr. Roche also provides parent education/training for parents dealing with behavioural problems, including those relating to ADHD and ASD or Aspeger's Disorder. He also specializes in working with adults and couples where one or both of the couple have ASD or Aspeger's Disorder. He has been working in the field for over 20 years.

For more information on Marriage, Couple and Family Therapy visit Dr. Roches web page at www.relatedminds.com or the web page for the British Columbia Association for Marriage and Family Therapists.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Couples?

( For information on marriage, family and couple therapy please visit the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapist Website: www.therapistlocator.net/member?226046 )

What kind of therapy works best for couples, for people with marriage difficulties or relationship issues? That's hard to say, the answer really is: "It depends." Most people seeking couple or marital therapy look for a general counsellor, but first and foremost it's really better to find someone specifically trained in couple, marriage and family therapy. While many counsellors and therapists claim they do "couples work" many don't have very limited training in the field. A Registered Marriage and Family Therapist (RMFT), unlike a "counsellor," has 2 years of supervised experience in the specific field of marriage and family therapy.  Either go with an RMFT or ask and expect significant education and supervised experience in couples work. 

Besides having a significant amount of supervised experience you also want to know what "kind" of therapy your therapist does. Some people say, "I do CBT - cognitive behavioural therapy - but their training consisted of only a weekend workshop or one course. If your therapist says, "I do CBT," ask how much supervision in CBT they received. A good CBT therapist should have many months of supervised experience just in CBT.

And is CBT a good method for marriage or relational problems? Sometimes, and sometimes not. It depends upon what is causing the issues you are having as a couple. Right now CBT - cognitive behavioural therapy, and ACT - Acceptance and Commitment Therapy - are two of the most frequently used "methods" in the field of marriage and family therapy. Snother more recent therapy is Dr. John Gottman's approach - just called Gottman Couple Therapy. Again, most people doing Gottman Therapy should have some real training in this, and in spite of the fact you find people all over the internet offering Gottman Therapy, few have actual training in it. A therapist who offers Gottman Training should have at least completed parts 1 and 2 or the Gottman Training Program. Some therapist who are very interested in the Gottman technique complete a third level of training and submit to having some of their cases supervised. They complete an advanced training program and this can ultimately lead to certification in the Gottman Method.

Most therapy methods don't have route to certification, but it is a good idea for those who have little academic of therapeutic background. 

Another method you may hear about, especially from individuals who are trained traditionally in marriage and family therapy is "systemic" therapy. Systemic might mean a general approach to you as a couple thinking in terms of "systems" or a more specific therapy method called "Systemic." Thera are dozens of variation, Systematic Therapy, Bowen Family Therapy, Ackerman Therapy taught at the Ackerman Institute in New York. But in general, these are the most common forms of family therapy: CBT, ACT, Gottman, Systemic.

CBT is one of the more evidence based therapies, but some people are not familiar with it's use with couples. CBT, as the name suggests, is about what we think - our cognitions. CBT therapists believe that how we think about something leads to what we feel and that leads to how we act. Two different people can have two very different reactions to the same situation or event. The meaning we assign something affects how we feel and act in a situation. What we think is called a "script" or "automatic thought." We pick up these scripts over time and they can create real problems when we react to every situation by interpreting it in an irrational manner -we see situations in black and white, all or nothing -  projecting out how we think things will turn out - or assume what others mean based upon past experiences.

AnxietyBC has an excellent overview of CBT - Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and I suggest you look at their web page to get some good examples that put this theory in to real life situations. 

Most people think of CBT as a therapy method for individuals, but it is not limited to individuals. I have combined CBT and Gottman techniques for years, especially when working on the relationship requires first and foremost getting both parties to speak the same language and move away from false assumptions.

You can find a number of books of couples issues and CBT on line, and at the website of the Albert Ellis Institute, where I did my advanced training in CBT - Albert Ellis was the first to use these terms but CBT was called Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy back then - REBT.  The other major figure in the field you are more likely to hear about is Dr. Aaron Beck. Dr. Ellis put his efforts into training therapists, and Dr. Beck put his early efforts into research proving the effectiveness of CBT.

As the AnxietyBC website states: "CBT is an evidence based psychological treatment proven to be effective through rigorous scientific research. This means that CBT is not based on what people think might work, but on what has been proven to work."

Research on CBT has shown it to be effective with a wide range of problems - depression, anxiety, chronic pain, disordered eating, low self esteem, anger management issues, . If your having trouble with your relationship these a very likely part of the issue, and often it is very difficult to deal with a couple's relational issues while anxiety, fear, anger and irrational thinking are in the way. So CBT makes an effective companion to other therapy techniques aimed at dealing with communication and feelings.

If you are interested in reading about CBT and marriage counselling or couple's therapy Dr. Aaron Beck has an excellent book called, " Love is Never Enough."  It has many insights, lots of great advice and exercises to help with a failing marriage of make a good relationship better.

For information about couples counselling, marriage or family therapy in my Burnaby office check out the information on my website: http://www.relatedminds.com or at http://www.relatedminds.com/couple-family-therapy/

Specific information on my training and certification in the field of couples counselling and marriage and family therapy can be found at the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapist website: www.therapistlocator.net/member?226046

Marriage and Couples Therapy in Burnaby and Coquitlam

Couple, Marriage and Relationship Counselling

I am often called to see couples who want therapy, and the call comes because they are looking for a psychologist to provide therapy for a couple - married or not - and their insurance provider will only pay a Registered Psychologist.  While I usually have time in my schedule in Burnaby for couples seeking counselling, when I don’t I urge them to look not on the BC psychology list, but on the BC Marriage and Family Therapist (RMFT) list because of the unique training and expertise that marriage and family therapists have. Luckily there are many good Registered Marriage and Family Therapists who are also Registered Psychologist, so their extended health care providers will pay for these services. Why do I point this out?

Here is how the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists put it (from the AAMFT website):

What are the qualifications to be a Marriage and Family Therapist?

Marriage and family therapy is a distinct professional discipline with graduate and post graduate programs. Three options are available for those interested in becoming a marriage and family therapist: master's degree (2-3 years), doctoral program (3-5 years), or post-graduate clinical training programs (3-4 years). This means that while a psychologist or “registered counsellor” may say they provide marriage and family therapy, usually they have taken one or two courses in the field and received little if any supervised experience. A Registered Marriage and Family Therapist has 2-5 years of coursework focused on relationships and family work - PLUS two years of supervised experience providing marriage and family therapy. That’s a big difference.

The US Federal government has designated marriage and family therapy as a core mental health profession along with psychiatry, psychology, social work and psychiatric nursing. Currently all 50 US states and most Candian Provinces support and regulate the profession by licensing marriage and family therapists.

The regulatory requirements in most states are substantially equivalent to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists Clinical Membership standards. After graduation from an accredited program, a period - usually two years - of post-degree supervised clinical experience is necessary before licensure or certification. When the supervision period is completed, the therapist can take a state licensing exam, or the national examination for marriage and family therapists conducted by the AAMFT Regulatory Boards. This exam is used as a licensure requirement in most states.

Who are Marriage and Family Therapists?

Marriage and Family Therapists (MFTs) are mental health professionals trained in psychotherapy and family systems, and licensed to diagnose and treat mental and emotional disorders within the context of marriage, couples and family systems.

Marriage and family therapists are a highly experienced group of practitioners, with an average of 13 years of clinical practice in the field of marriage and family therapy. They evaluate and treat mental and emotional disorders, other health and behavioral problems, and address a wide array of relationship issues within the context of the family system. 

Marriage and Family Therapists broaden the traditional emphasis on the individual to attend to the nature and role of individuals in primary relationship networks such as marriage and the family.  MFTs take a holistic perspective to health care; they are concerned with the overall, long-term well-being of individuals and their families. 

MFTs have graduate training (a Master's or Doctoral degree) in marriage and family therapy and at least two years of clinical experience. Marriage and family therapists are recognized as a "core" mental health profession, along with psychiatry, psychology, social work and psychiatric nursing. 

Since 1970 there has been a 50-fold increase in the number of marriage and family therapists. At any given time they are treating over 1.8 million people 

A family's patterns of behavior influences the individual and therefore may need to be a part of the treatment plan. In marriage and family therapy, the unit of treatment isn't just the person - even if only a single person is interviewed - it is the set of relationships in which the person is imbedded. 

Marriage and family therapy is:

• brief

• solution-focused

• specific, with attainable therapeutic goals

• designed with the "end in mind."

Marriage and family therapists treat a wide range of serious clinical problems including: depression, marital problems, anxiety, individual psychological problems, and child-parent problems.

Research indicates that marriage and family therapy is as effective, and in some cases more effective than standard and/or individual treatments for many mental health problems such as: adult schizophrenia, affective (mood) disorders, adult alcoholism and drug abuse, children's conduct disorders, adolescent drug abuse, anorexia in young adult women, childhood autism, chronic physical illness in adults and children, and marital distress and conflict.

Marriage and family therapists regularly practice short-term therapy; 12 sessions on average. Nearly 65.6% of the cases are completed within 20 sessions, 87.9% within 50 sessions. Marital/couples therapy (11.5 sessions) and family therapy (9 sessions) both require less time than the average individuated treatment (13 sessions). About half of the treatment provided by marriage and family therapists is one-on-one with the other half divided between marital/couple and family therapy, or a combination of treatments.

Why use a Marriage and Family Therapist?

Research studies repeatedly demonstrate the effectiveness of marriage and family therapy in treating the full range of mental and emotional disorders and health problems. Adolescent drug abuse, depression, alcoholism, obesity and dementia in the elderly -- as well as marital distress and conflict -- are just some of the conditions Marriage and Family Therapists effectively treat.

Studies also show that clients are highly satisfied with services of Marriage and Family Therapists. Clients report marked improvement in work productivity, co-worker relationships, family relationships, partner relationships, emotional health, overall health, social life, and community involvement.

In a recent study, consumers report that marriage and family therapists are the mental health professionals they would most likely recommend to friends. Over 98 percent of clients of marriage and family therapists report therapy services as good or excellent.

After receiving treatment, almost 90% of clients report an improvement in their emotional health, and nearly two-thirds report an improvement in their overall physical health. A majority of clients report an improvement in their functioning at work, and over three-fourths of those receiving marital/couples or family therapy report an improvement in the couple relationship. When a child is the identified patient, parents report that their child's behavior improved in 73.7% of the cases, their ability to get along with other children significantly improved and there was improved performance in school. Marriage and family therapy's prominence in the mental health field has increased due to its brief, solution-focused treatment, its family-centered approach, and its demonstrated effectiveness. Marriage and family therapists are licensed in 46 states and are recognized by the federal government as members of a distinct mental health discipline.

Today more than 50,000 marriage and family therapists treat individuals, couples, and families nationwide. Membership in the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) has grown from 237 members in 1960 to more than 23,000 in 1996. This growth is a result, in part, of renewed public awareness of the value of family life and concern about the increased stresses on families in a rapidly changing world. 

How can I find a Marriage and Family Therapist?

AAMFT Clinical Members meet stringent training and education requirements that qualify them for the independent practice of marriage and family therapy.  AAMFT requires Clinical Members to abide by the AAMFT Code of Ethics, the most stringent ethical code in the marriage and family therapy profession. This code delineates specific ethical behavior and guidelines for members to follow to ensure the ethical treatment of clients. Clinical Membership in the AAMFT signifies an MFT's dedication to his or her ongoing professional development. Each month, AAMFT Clinical Members receive important updates on current clinical and research developments in the field, as well as numerous opportunities throughout the year to attend professional development conferences.

Click here to find a Marriage and Family Therapist today!

For information on my own practice of Marriage and Family Therapy, providing counselling and therapy services to individuals with relationship issues, couples, married couples and entire families, check out my website at www.relatedminds.com or http://www.relatedminds.com/couple-family-therapy/

My offices are near Lougheed Town Centre and provide counselling services to individuals in Burnaby, Coquitlam, New Westminster and Maple Ridge. Please see my web page for details.

Marriage and Couple Therapy in Burnaby and Vancouver

Dr. Jim Roche provides marriage and couple therapy / counselling in his offices in Burnaby and Vancouver. Dr. Roche is both a registered psychologist and registered marriage and family therapist, as well as a clinical member and fellow of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.

Dr. Roche is trained in systemic therapy, as well as the Gottman Therapy method. He provides therapy for those who feel stuck in their relationships, and want to learn and explore new skills and ways of communication.

Marriage and couples therapy can be used to address:

• Problems with communication
• Anger issues
• Sexual difficulties
• Conflicts about child rearing 
• Substance abuse
• Infidelity
• Divorce or separation issues

The Gottman Couples/Marriage Therapy method addresses several similar issues:

• Increasing respect, affection and closeness between you
• Learning techniques to break through and resolve conflicts when you feel stuck
• gaining a better understanding of who each of you are in the relationship
• Learning how to keep conflict discussions calm
• and How to maintain improvements in your relationships.

Couple or marriage therapy usually starts with two or three weekly sessions during which we assess the situation and determine mutual goals, and then weekly every other week sessions using skills and reviewing their use in the relationship.

Two books I highly recommend reading (or at least reviewing) before coming to therapy include, "Why Marriages Succeed or Fail," and "The Seven Principals for Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman.

For more information about setting up an appointment for marriage therapy or couples counselling please visit my website at: http://www.relatedminds.com/couple-family-therapy/

Gay, Lesbian Couples Counselling (GLBT Services)

Do You Provide Couple and Marriage Counselling to Gay or Lesbian Couples?

I have provided couples counselling to gay and lesbian couples for over twenty years. Not all counselling services are supportive of gay and lesbian couples here in BC, and as a matter of fact one major referral service states they provide counselling to transitional marriages. The only school that offers a degree leading to registration as a marriage and family therapist in BC is a religious school which does not recognize gay and lesbian marriage. So, while we might see ourselves living in a very liberal and welcoming community here in BC not all organizations see it so.

I have been providing counselling and therapy services to the gay, lesbian, bi-secual and transgender community for over 25 years. This includes work with couples, marriages and families, work with children in those families and  work with many teens and young adults during their coming out or questioning periods.

In my office you will find a respectful, safe and supportive environment.

Issues that I work on include:

• Relationship issues
• Dating
• Life transitions
• Support when questioning your sexual or gender identity
• Abusing relationship
• Workplace or education related issues
• Depression, anxiety and stress

Techniques range from using Gottman Couples Therapy methods to Cognitive Behaviour Therapy for anxiety, stress and depression.

Please feel free to contact me or visit my web page:https://relatedmindsbc.squarespace.com/gay-lesbian-bi-sexual-and-transgender-issues

Couple Therapy and Intimacy

Often couples come in and want some basic help with renewing their sense of desire and intimacy. While Dr. John Gottman speaks in detail about the skills we all need to develop and sustain intimacy, and desire. But almost everyone wants something simple, short and clear. One of the best resources I have found for couples have difficulty with intimacy is this Ted talk by Esther Perel. It's about 20 minutes long, and get's right to the point. Clients have overwhelmingly found this helpful. But don't forget to look at the skills and knowledge provided by Dr. Gottman.




For more information on the services I provide as a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist, and Clinical Fellow of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, please visit my web page at http://www.relatedminds.com/couple-family-therapy/

In addition to my Registration as a Marriage and Family Therapist I am also a Registered Psychologist in British Columbia. While MSP does not cover the cost of couples or marriage counselling or therapy, most extended health care services do cover these costs. Please contact your insurance provider for information.

I have offices located in both Burnaby and Vancouver, and provide evening hours for those with complex work schedules. Most information can be found at www.relatedminds.com

Couple and Marriage Therapy: Burnaby / Vancouver

People often come in to my office and scan my book shelf looking for some hint as to what and how I think about relationships. My bookshelf isn't the best place to get that information because I read a lot of books, and don't find all of them very useful. Some things I read about marriage and couple's therapy I find frightening  I originally became licensed in Marriage and Family Therapy in the early 80's. My license was specifically in that field, and so was my training. I trained for a while at the Ackerman Institute in New York, and then studied systemic therapy. Many of the things we did 30 years ago were not evidence based, that is, not scientifically based. In the field of relationship issues many of the leaders in the field worked under someone for years, then developed their own techniques that seemed to work, and then wrote a book about it. And I hate to throw books away, so there are a lot of those books on my selves (although lately I have finally been parting with some.)

For the past few years, actually the past two decades, I've been focused on two major ways of approaching couples and families in therapy. With Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - CBT, and with therapy based upon the work of Dr. John Gottman of Seattle. 

I am not "controlled" or overly "devoted" to a single method of therapy, but I do feel any therapist needs to have a very deep and firm grounding in some theoretical stance. My reasons for using these two methods as my primary way of approaching couples work is simple: these are the two methods most firmly grounded in evidence. Both of these methods have undergone examination and testing and show reasonable levels of success. Many others that you read or hear about have not.

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy

I don't stick with one method of doing couples therapy because couples often arrive at my office in very different states. Some Registered Marriage and Family Therapists would NEVER see on member of a couple alone, and would always insist on seeing them together. This is a "theoretical" decision on their part. I don't follow theory to that degree as sometimes one member of a couple may not be ready for couples therapy, and at other times the relationship is too fragile to expose the issues at the moment. Sometimes one member of a couple may need Cognitive Behaviour Therapy to get a handle on their irrational thinking processes before we can even begin meeting together (and sometimes I work with one member of a couple and send them to someone else for couples work). Sometimes we need to engage in psychoeducation - as I often work with couples where one member has Aspeger's Disorder or another cognitive disorder. Sometimes one member of the couple, or both, need to develop anger management skills before we can work together. For these reasons I often find myself using cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) with couples in therapy, either before couples therapy starts, in in conjunction with couples therapy.

An excellent book on couple's therapy from a CBT perspective is Beck's "Love is Never Enough." But honestly, it's a long and difficult book for some.  Still, understanding the work of Dr. Aaron Beck is a good place to start.

Gottman Method Couples Therapy

For most couples I suggest reading one of two books by John Gottman 1) "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work," and 2) "Why Marriages Succeed or Fail."  These are excellent books that include exercises for couples to engage in help you both analyze your own relationship and apply specific skills to fixing it. These are short, easy to read books, and there are CD and audible.com versions to listen to if you prefer to listen.

The Gottman Method Couples Therapy is an evidence based form of therapy that is delivered in a fairly structured manner so as to attain goals outlined in the therapeutic environment. It helps couples in achieving a deeper sense of understanding, awareness, empathy, and connectedness within their relationships that ultimately leads to heightened intimacy and interpersonal growth. This is a simple process, but one that many couples will find essential to success in their relationship.

By combining therapeutic interventions with evidence based exercises, couples develop the tools necessary to remove the natural walls and defenses that hinder and prohibit effective communication and, most important, bonding. 

Goals and Principles of the Gottman Method

The principle goals of the Gottman Method Couples Therapy are to disarm conflicting verbal communication, to increase intimacy, respect, and affection, to remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy in conflicting situations, and to create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship. The Gottman web page explains this in detail.

Length of Therapy

I often suggest that couples come in weekly for 3-4 weeks, and then every other week for about 6-10 sessions. The number of sessions depends greatly on individual needs.

Cost of Therapy

Couples therapy costs $175.00 per session. While MSP does not cover this cost most extended health care plans do cover some or all. Speak with your provider to find out what they will cover. Most plans will not cover the services of a registered clinical counsellor or register marriage and family therapist. I am both a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist and a Registered Psychologist, therefore most insurance providers will cover the cost of my services.

For more information on marriage therapy or couples / relationship counselling please contact me through my web page at:

http://www.relatedminds.com/couple-family-therapy/

http://www.aamft.org/cgi-shl/TWServer.exe?Run:LOCATECN_2:TradeWinds_KEY=420