Bringing Up Emotionally Intelligent Children

What are the five elements of emotion coaching according to John Gottman?

1. Be aware of a child's emotions
2. Recognize emotional expression as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching
3. Listen empathetically and validate a child's feelings
4. Label emotions in words a child can understand
5. Help a child come up with an appropriate way to solve a problem or deal with an upsetting issue or situation

It's really that simple! And, yes, it's that hard too. But Gottman has a great idea going (and a great book and video to go with it) that your job as a mom or dad is to simple be a coach to your child. In Dr. Gottman's research he has found that children of "emotion-coaching" parents had more general abilities in the area of their own emotions than children who were not coached by their parents. In other words, these "coached" children grew up to become what Dan Goleman has referred to as "emotionally intelligent" people. What are characteristics of these children?

Dr. Gottman's research demonstrated that emotion-coached children: Are able to regulate their emotional states; Are better at soothing themselves when they are upset; Could calm down their hearts faster after something upsetting happens; Have fewer infectious illnesses; Are better at focusing attention; Relate better to other people, even in tough situations like getting teased in middle school; Are better at understanding people; Have better friendships with other children; Are better in school situations that require academic performance.

Those are the beefits of coaching your child appropriately, and another nice thing is that while doing this your monitoring your own behaviour! Caching involves modelling! I highly recommend Dr. Gottman's book (you can find it on my web page for resources by following www.relatedminds.com). And if your too busy ....get the video. As a matter of fact, donate one to your local library! Here is a sample: Click-http://youtu.be/eVDMATVzhTk You can also go to Dr. Gottman's web page for more of his ideas...based in science and research.

for more information on my services as a marriage and family therapist or registered psychologist you can visit my web page: www.relatedminds.com or my Psychology Today website or at the AAMFT website.

Counseling, Drugs Combo Better for Anxiety Disorders - in Psychiatry, Anxiety & Stress from MedPage Today

Often individuals come in to see me for relationship therapy and have issues relating to anxiety, depression and stress related disorders. One of the things that goes on is that they seem to feel they need to make a choice between either a psychological intervention for their problems, or a medical intervention. Often this is a struggle they are going through and can't seem to move on until they decide, "is this physical, or is it in my head?" The truth is, as far as moving on and fixing a problem goes, the best interventions, especially for moderate to severe issues of anxiety, depression and stress, are "multi-modal" therapies. Therapies that include both medical and cognitive (psychological) interventions. Intervention plans that include both are by far the best intervention plans. This article address more of the recent research on this topic. It's a good read, short, direct and very clear. Medical News: Counseling, Drugs Combo Better for Anxiety Disorders - in Psychiatry, Anxiety & Stress from MedPage Today

for information about my practice you are welcome to go to my website: www.relatedminds.com for more information on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.