ABOUT GOTTMAN METHOD COUPLES THERAPY
I am often asked: "What is Gottman Method Couples Therapy?" I guess the best way to explain it is to refer directly to Dr. Gottman's webpage:
Gottman Method Couples Therapy: Through research-based interventions and exercises, it helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy in their relationships. Gottman Method Couples Therapy is a structured, goal-oriented, scientifically-based therapy. Intervention strategies are based upon empirical data from Dr. Gottman’s three decades of research with more than 3,000 couples. This research shows us what actually works to help couples achieve a long-term healthy relationship. Gottman Method Couples Therapy was developed out of this research to help couples:
-Increase respect, affection, and closeness
-Break through and resolve conflict when they feel stuck
-Generate greater understanding between partners
-Keep conflict discussions calm
Research shows that to make a relationship last, couples must become better friends, learn to manage conflict, and create ways to support each other's hopes for the future. Drs. John and Julie Gottman have shown how couples can accomplish this by paying attention to what they call the "Sound Relationship House," or the seven components of healthy coupleships.
The Gottman Theory For Making Relationships Work:
What does Dr. Gottman say about getting your marriage or relationship back on track?
1. Build Love Maps: How well do you know your partner’s inner psychological world, his or her history, worries, stresses, joys, and hopes? Find out!
2. Share Fondness and Admiration: The antidote for contempt, this level focuses on the amount of affection and respect within a relationship. (To strengthen fondness and admiration, express appreciation and respect.)
3."Turn Towards:" State your needs, be aware of bids for connection and turn towards them. The small moments of everyday life are actually the building blocks of relationship.
4. The Positive Perspective: The presence of a positive approach to problem-solving and the success of repair attempts.
5. Manage Conflict: We say “manage” conflict rather than “resolve” conflict, because relationship conflict is natural and has functional, positive aspects. Understand that there is a critical difference in handling perpetual problems and solvable problems.
6. Make Life Dreams Come True: Create an atmosphere that encourages each person to talk honestly about his or her hopes, values, convictions and aspirations.
7. Create Shared Meaning: Understand important visions, narratives, myths, and metaphors about your relationship.
For more information about Dr. Gottman's approach to therapy you can visit his website at Http://www.gottman.com or visit my website at http://www.relatedminds.com or http://www.relatedmindsbc.com/couples-therapy
(For a direct link to the Gottman web page, click here.) You can also find information on The Gottman Institute at the Gottman YouTube webpage, found here: http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGottmanInstitute
Books, DVD programs and CDs are available from the Gottman website, many on Amazon.ca and you can obtain several in my office. Visit the Gottman site, watch Dr. Gottman on YouTube to get an idea about what he is saying and if your interested in seeing me individually, as a couple or just as a consultant while you work your way through a video based Gottman program, give me a call.
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