Jim Roche, Ph.D, provides assessments for and diagnosis of ASD, as well as psychoeducational assessments, counselling and therapy services for individuals (children/adolescents/adults), couples and families in the Burnaby, Coquitlam, Port Moody and central Vancouver area. Dr. Jim Roche also provides services for adults with ASD including social skills coaching and workplace consultations.
He is trained in using social-cognitive therapy (social learning) methods developed by Michelle Garcia Winner with high functioning children and adolescents with Asperger's Disorder, NVLD (Non-Verbal Learning Disorders) high functioning autism and other related social cognitive deficits.
He is a member of the British Columbia RASP, Registry of Autism Services Providers, and if you qualify for ministry services his services will be covered for all ages of children.
You can find more information at any of these sites:
https://www.actcommunity.ca/resource/902/
https://www.relatedminds.comhttp://www.psychologists.bc.ca/users/jimroche
Showing posts with label New Westminster. Show all posts
Showing posts with label New Westminster. Show all posts
Friday, December 15, 2017
Wednesday, December 13, 2017
What is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)?
What is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT)?
I've been suggesting this webpage to my patients, please try to reach it directly. If not, I have provided some of the information below.
http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/health_information/a_z_mental_health_and_addiction_information/CBT/Pages/default.aspx
Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) is a practical, short-term form of psychotherapy. It helps people to develop skills and strategies for becoming and stay healthy. This happens through an interactive process between the therapist and the patient. It's an educational process, focused on the here and now rather than the past. CBT was started by Dr. Albert Ellis, and was originally called Rational Emotive Therapy. A second practitioner developed a very similar method at about the same time, Dr. Aaron Beck. I have been lucky enough to have been trained by Dr. Ellis and have my Advanced Certificate in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy from the Albert Ellis Institute in New York City. Much of my doctoral work, in addition to family and couple's therapy, was in the use of CBT.
CBT is useful with adults, teens and children. We have some wonderful tools to use with younger children to teach them the same skills an adult would be learning in CBT.
CBT helps people to examine how they make sense of what is happening around them and how these perceptions affect the way they feel. CBT:
• is structured
• is time-limited (usually 6-20 sessions)
• is problem-focused and goal-oriented
• teaches strategies and skills
• is based on a poaitive, shared therapeutic relationship between therapist and client
In the video above Dr. Zindel Segal, a CBT expert, discusses how CBT works. The video also features people explaining how CBT helped them deal with various mental health problems, including depression and schizophrenia.
CBT model
The CBT model is built on a two-way relationship between thoughts (“cognitions”) and behaviours. Each can influence the other
Cognition
There are three levels of cognition:
• Conscious thoughts: Rational thoughts and choices that are made with full awareness.
• Automatic thoughts: Thoughts that flow rapidly, so that you may not be fully aware of them. This may mean you can’t check them for accuracy or relevance. In a person with a mental health problem, these thoughts may not be logical.
• Schemas: Core beliefs and personal rules for processing information. Schemas are shaped by influences in childhood and other life experiences.
Behaviour
Behaviour can be changed using techniques such as self-monitoring, activity scheduling (for depression) and exposure and response prevention (for anxiety).
What happens in CBT?
In CBT, clients learn to identify, question and change the thoughts, attitudes and beliefs related to the emotional and behavioural reactions that cause them difficulty.
By monitoring and recording thoughts during upsetting situations, people learn that how they think can contribute to emotional problems such as depression and anxiety. CBT helps to reduce these emotional problems by teaching clients to:
• identify distortions in their thinking
• see thoughts as ideas about what is going on, rather than as facts
• stand back from their thinking to consider situations from different viewpoints.
Where is CBT used?
There has been a lot of research on CBT. Evidence suggests that it is particularly effective in treating anxiety and depression. CBT has also been tailored to other specific problems.
For more information on CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) as provided in my office, please visit my webpage at:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists/jim-roche-burnaby-bc/70682or
http://www.relatedminds.com/therapy/
Monday, March 7, 2016
Couple, Marriage and Family Therapy: Burnaby / Vancouver
I provide couple, marriage and family therapy in my office in Burnaby, BC. My office is located with quick accesds to Vancouver, Burnaby, Coquitlam and New Westminster. Office hours are available in the afternoon, evening and some Saturdays.
Couple therapy is based upon the work of Dr. John Gottman, as well as other cognitve-behavioural theraies such as RET (Rational Emotive Therapy) and CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy).
In addition to being a registered psychologist and holding a PhD in clinical psychology, I also hold a graduate degree in marriage and family therapy and completed two years of supervised experience just in couples therapy. I have been a Registered and Licensed Marriage and Family herapist for over two decades and am a Clinical Member and Fellow of the American Association for Marriage and Family Counselling (AAMFT).
I also provide individual therapy for depression, anxiety, workplace stress and OCD. I also have a good number of adult patients with asperger's and autism spectrum disorder who are seen for marriage and relationship counselling. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
For more information please visit my web page at:
http://www.relatedminds.com/couple-family-therapy
www.relatedminds.com
Couple therapy is based upon the work of Dr. John Gottman, as well as other cognitve-behavioural theraies such as RET (Rational Emotive Therapy) and CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy).
In addition to being a registered psychologist and holding a PhD in clinical psychology, I also hold a graduate degree in marriage and family therapy and completed two years of supervised experience just in couples therapy. I have been a Registered and Licensed Marriage and Family herapist for over two decades and am a Clinical Member and Fellow of the American Association for Marriage and Family Counselling (AAMFT).
I also provide individual therapy for depression, anxiety, workplace stress and OCD. I also have a good number of adult patients with asperger's and autism spectrum disorder who are seen for marriage and relationship counselling. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
For more information please visit my web page at:
http://www.relatedminds.com/couple-family-therapy
www.relatedminds.com
Monday, November 21, 2011
Counselling | Therapy | Vancouver | Burnaby
About Individual Counselling | Therapy and CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)
As a registered psychologist I provide therapy and counselling services to individuals in the Burnaby and Vancouver areas using the clinically proven and evidence based techniques of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT). Individuals are seen for a variety of issues including chronic pain, depression, anxiety, stress, panic, anger management, ADHD and work or relationship issues. I hold an advanced certificate in Cognitive Therapy from the Albert Ellis Institute in New York. If you are looking for a cognitive therapist you should ask what training they have in CBT, as many individuals claim they practice CBT after completing only a workshop or reading a book. The Advanced Certificate Program at the Albert Ellis Institute included extensive CBT readings, group and individual training and supervised practice of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy/Rationale Emotive Behaviour Therapy under the supervision of a licensed mental health practitioner. In addition to my practicum at the Ellis Institute I also focused on CBT during my graduate studies and post doctoral internship.
As a registered psychologist I provide therapy and counselling services to individuals in the Burnaby and Vancouver areas using the clinically proven and evidence based techniques of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT). Individuals are seen for a variety of issues including chronic pain, depression, anxiety, stress, panic, anger management, ADHD and work or relationship issues. I hold an advanced certificate in Cognitive Therapy from the Albert Ellis Institute in New York. If you are looking for a cognitive therapist you should ask what training they have in CBT, as many individuals claim they practice CBT after completing only a workshop or reading a book. The Advanced Certificate Program at the Albert Ellis Institute included extensive CBT readings, group and individual training and supervised practice of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy/Rationale Emotive Behaviour Therapy under the supervision of a licensed mental health practitioner. In addition to my practicum at the Ellis Institute I also focused on CBT during my graduate studies and post doctoral internship.
About Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT)My primary mode of practice is rational-emotive/cognitive therapy. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy or CBT (including Rational Emotive Therapy) is a highly effective, research driven approach that helps people to combat and overcome such difficulties as high anxiety/stress, panic attacks, depression, anger, relationship problems, phobias, worry, obsessions, compulsions, addictions (food or drugs), social anxiety, sexual problems, ADHD and low self-esteem. The course of treatment is typically short-term (approximately 8-12 sessions), and people often enjoy rapid and enduring relief from their symptoms.
Where are your offices?
Offices are located in Burnaby (providing therapy and counselling services to Burnaby, Coquitlam, New Westminster, Port Moody, Port Coquitlam, Maple Ridge and, some individuals come from Surrey and Langley) and Vancouver (providing counselling and therapy services to Vancouver, North Vancouver, West Vancouver and some clients from Richmond).
How long does it take to get an appointment?
Counselling and therapy appointments are usually available within a week. Please feel free to call to set up and appointment.
Dr. Jim Roche
778.998-7975
www.relatedminds.com
www.relatedminds.com/individual-therapy/
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Counselling for Depression and Anxiety in Burnaby, Coquitlam, Vancouver and New Westminster
DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY COUNSELLING & THERAPY IN VANCOUVER, COQUITLAM, BURNABY and NEW WESTMINSTER, BC
The rates of Depression and Anxiety are increasing all the time. This includes the rates of these disorders for children, adolescents and adults. Depression and Anxiety lead to difficulties at school, work, with friends and in our personal relationships, including couples and marriages. Both of these disorders are treated initially by the medical field with medication. This is often useful, and sometimes necessary, however comprehensive treatment of Depression and Anxiety also calls for psychotherapy. For over 30 years Cognitive Behavioural Therapy has been found to be highly effective with both Depression and Anxiety. Most research finds that therapy using both medication and psychotherapy (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) is the most effective means of treating Depression and Anxiety.
WHAT IS DEPRESSION?
Sadness, low levels of energy and worry are common to all of us. We all have times of appropriate depressed mood. Depression becomes a problem when these symptoms of Depression become too frequent, start to interfere with our ability to get things done, and begin to take over our thinking patterns. These symptoms can include losing our appetite for life, or even for food that we use to enjoy, intrusive negative thoughts, low engery, weigh changes and changes in our daily habits and activities. We become isolated, lose our ability to tolerate common problems, and start to think in black and white terms about life, or ability to cope, and become consumed with feelings of hopelessness. These are some of the common signs and symptoms of Depression. Some of these symptoms may be caused by other problems, and one should never “self diagnose.” Many of these symptoms of Depression could be a simple problem with low iron, but they can be caused by many other physical issues that you need to have assessed before a diagnosis of depression is made. Start by talking to your family doctor or a psychologist. A medical evaluation is always best practice.
HOW DOES ANXIETY RELATE TO DEPRESSION?
Anxiety, like depression, has been increasing in frequency for several years. We are not sure why, but the world of work, school and family responsibilities has become more complex as time has gone on. Symptoms of an Anxiety Disorder include an inability to get to sleep, or to stay asleep. Sometimes individuals have extreme reactions of fear or panic to situations that don’t cause these reactions to others. Both Depression and Anxiety can cause difficulty focusing on work, at school or on relationships. Symptoms can range from feelings of worry to increases in heart rate, blood pressure, dizziness, sweating and flushing of the face or hands. Sometimes these are general symptoms that seem to imbue someone’s entire day, other times they become more specific and targeted and constitute a phobia. Regretfully Anxiety and Depression often occur together, causing an individual to nearly stop in their shoes, afraid to take any action. As with Depression, Anxiety is not something you should self diagnose. You should write out a list of symptoms, and specific situations they may have occurred in, the time of day and so on. Take this list and see your medical doctor. He or she can either help you with a diagnosis of Anxiety or Depression, or they may ask that you see a Registered Psychologist fpor a comprehensive examination and diagnosis. Again, like Depression Anxiety if often treated with medication, however Cognitive Behavioural Therapy has also been found to be highly effective. Best practice is a combination of both medical intervention (or at least observation and monitoring) and therapy.
WHAT CAN I DO?
If you think you suffer from a Depressive Disorder of Anxiety Disorder the first step is always: See your medical doctor and talk it over. If you don’t have a family physician most walk in clinics in Vancouver, Burnaby, Coquitlam and the surrounding areas have general practitioners who are trained to help you. They can walk you through the steps of diagnosis, and make a referral to either a psychologist or psychiatrist if they feel unsure about the diagnosis. If medication is a concern, talk over your concerns directly with your doctor. Write down your questions, copy any articles or other information you may have come across that you find worrying. You doctor can explain the pros and cons of different treatments. Don’t get information about treatment - especially medical treatment - from the internet. Often internet pages provide overblown and negative information about medical treatments in order to sell you something else, which is neither effective nor proven. Be careful. Trust your doctor!
A Registered Psychologist can offer you therapy that specifically addresses both Anxiety and Depression. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) has been found to be effective with both Depression and Anxiety. CBT teaches you skills to address immediate symptoms, such as relaxation, thought stopping and “Mindfulness.” CBT also focuses on teaching you new healthier ways to approach problems and conflicts, and helps you change negative, depressive and anxious thoughts to more realistic and helpful ones. Here in BC you will find information on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for anxiety at www.anxietybc.ca You can also go to another government sponsored website: www.heretohelp.ca for information on CBT for Depression. I provide therapy and counselling for Depression and Anxiety in both my Vancouver and Burnaby offices, which serve Burnaby, Vancouver, Coquitlam, New Westminster, Port Moody and Maple Ridge. This includes treatment for children and adolescents with Depression and Anxiety.
DO I HAVE DEPRESSION OR ANXIETY?
Start by talking to your doctor. He or she can help you in determining if you have an Anxiety Disorder or Depression. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to your medical doctor you can also talk to a Registered Psychologist. You can find a list of Registered Psychologists in Vancouver, Burnaby, Coquitlam and the surrounding area by contacting the British Columbia Psychological Association. Their website can help you find a psychologist who treats Depression and Anxiety near you. You can, of course, also check my web page and contact me if you’d like. The information is below.
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Vancouver Counselling: Suite 303-338 8th Ave West, Vancouver, BC V5Y3X2
Burnaby and Coquitlam Counselling: 9304A Salish Court, Burnaby, BC V3J7C5
Phone for counselling services in Burnaby, Coquitlam, New Westminster, Port Moody and Coquitlam: 778.998-7975
Copyright 2011/2012 RelatedMinds Psychological and Educational Services - All Rights Reserved
RelatedMinds Psychological Services in Vancouver, Coquitlam and Burnaby
British Columbia. Specializing in the assessment, diagnosis and treatment of depression, anxiety, relationship issues, anger management, learning disabilities, Autism and other related conditions.
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For information on counselling and therapy services in Burnaby, Vancouver, Coquitlam and surrounding areas contact Dr. Roche at: (Office phone) 778.998.7975
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As usual, let me warn you that this blog, any of my other blogs, or my web pages are not designed to provide you with an assessment, diagnosis or treatment. If you are concerned you have a health issue such as ADHD, anxiety, depression or Asperger's | autism please see your health service provider, either a medical doctor or Registered Psychologist. What may appear to be symptoms of one disorder can often be caused by another unexpected disorder. Other disorders, such as ADHD, are very likely to exist at the same time as another disorder (called co-morbid disorder) such as anxiety, depressing or OCD. You need to see a professional to find this out. On-line symptom checklists will not provide this, and are often misleading.
Services provided in my offices include: (covered by most extended health care insurance)
Anxiety and Stress (click here: http://www.relatedminds.com/anxiety-stress/)
Autism and Asperger's Disorder (Click here: http://www.relatedminds.com/autism/)
Individual Counselling (click here: http://www.relatedminds.com/individual-therapy/)
Child Counselling / Therapy (click here: http://www.relatedminds.com/child-therapy/)
Testing and Assessments and Learning Disabilities (Click here: http://www.relatedminds.com/testing/)
Couples Counselling / Therapy (click here: http://www.relatedminds.com/couples-therapy/)
The Angry Child (click here: http://www.relatedminds.com/dealing-with-angry-aggressive-and-explosive-children/)
Anger Management (Click here:http://www.relatedminds.com/anger-management/)
Pain Management and PTSD (Click here:http://www.relatedminds.com/pain )
Forensic Services (Independent Medical Examinations or IME)
About Dr. Roche
My name is Dr. Jim Roche and I am a Registered Psychologist and a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist (RMFT) in British Columbia. In addition to my doctorate in clinical psychology, I hold a master's degree in family therapy, a certificate of advanced graduate studies (CAGS) in school and educational psychology from Norwich University, and have completed two years of post doctoral studies in neuro-psychology at The Fielding Institute in Santa Barbara, California. In addition to being a registered psychologist, I am a certified school psychologist, certified teacher of special education (New York and California), and a Clinical Member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT). I also hold a doctoral degree in law with an emphasis in medical malpractice and education law. Beyond my academic credentials, I have completed two years of supervised clinical experience in both hospital and community based clinics and two years of post doctoral training in neuropsychology. I have served as director of behaviour programming for several school districts, as a consultant on autism for the province, and have held numerous academic positions including Clinical Instructor in Psychiatry at New York University and Bellevue Hospital in New York as well as being a faculty member at NYU, Brooklyn College, SUNY New Paltz, and Norwich University.
Key words
ADHD | Anxiety and Stress | Autism and Asperger's Disorder | Individual Counselling | Child Therapy | Testing and Assessments and Learning Disabilities | Couples Counselling | Depression | The Angry Child | Anger Management | Pain Management and PTSD | Forensic Services | Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder | Vancouver | Burnaby | Coquitlam | New Westminster | Maple Ridge | Port Moody | Child Psychologist | Psychologist | Learning Disability | Assessment | Testing | Psycho-educational Assessment | Neuropsychological Assessment
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Self-Help Ideas for couples
I've just put a new post on my RelatedMinds website blog. Click here to find the post: CLICK HERE
This post reviews a couple of the more useful, and scientifically based, self-help programs for couples who are considering a self-help approach rather than couples counselling / therapy or marriage counselling / therapy. The suggestions are based on the work of Dr. John Gottman, one of the few scientifically - research based marriage and relationship counselling programs available.
Dr. Jim Roche
Registered Psychologist
Registered Marriage and Family Therapist
778.998-7975
This post reviews a couple of the more useful, and scientifically based, self-help programs for couples who are considering a self-help approach rather than couples counselling / therapy or marriage counselling / therapy. The suggestions are based on the work of Dr. John Gottman, one of the few scientifically - research based marriage and relationship counselling programs available.
Dr. Jim Roche
Registered Psychologist
Registered Marriage and Family Therapist
778.998-7975
Saturday, November 20, 2010
About Cognitive Behaviour Therapy
Often clients come in or call and ask some basic questions about CBT. For instance, ""What is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy?" They've heard about it, or their medical doctor recommended it. So I've posted an introductory video on CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy). You might want to look up more about CBT and to help you I would suggest googling CBT, Albert Ellis, Aaron Beck (this video is by his daughter Dr. Judith Beck) or going to wikipedia. These are really good places to start. If you come into the office I'll be suggesting some books, and most likely providing an introductory handout for you. If your concern is about CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) and anxiety a really good place to start would be the web site for AnxietyBC. You can reach that by clicking here. They also have an excellent selection of information for children and adolescents with anxiety, and most of the techniques are similar to what we use with depression.
I hope this introductory information is helpful to those who have questions about Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT). One final note: Often practitioners claim to "do CBT." They say they have training or a "background" in CBT. Don't be afraid to ask them more about their background, education and experience. Someone providing cognitive behaviour therapy should have several courses and, more importantly, supervised experience doing CBT. They should have had six months or a year of weekly supervised experience. That means someone well trained in CBT watched them doing it, listened to recordings of sessions, and reviewed cases weekly. This is a little different than having attended a 3 day workshop in what is a rather complicated technique. Don't be afraid to ask!
This blog is not offered as medical advice or as a means of diagnosing or treating depression, anxiety, relationship problems or any other disorder. Don't go on line and take any mental health "test." Diagnosis is complex, and it involves not just looking for a list of symptoms, but also ruling out other disorders that might look just like what you suspect. So avoid these on-line "tests" which are nothing more than a collection of symptoms. You need to see a licensed or registered professional for that. Medical doctors can diagnose, but a diagnosis is complex and often they will make a referral to a Registered Psychologist. You can obtain a referral from the British Columbia Psychological Association for a psychologist near you. See a registered professional, either a Registered Psychologist or Registered Marriage and Family Therapist.
My web page lists a number of resources you can make use of yourself in dealing with individual, couple or family issues. Please visit it at www.relatedminds.com, one of my other sites at either Psychology Today, AAMFT, PSYRIS or my professional site.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) assessment and treatment services are offered for individuals, couples, families, children and adolescents in the Burnaby, Vancouver, Coquitlam, Port Moody, New Westminster and Maple Ridge areas of the lower mainland. This includes neuro-developmental assessments, psycho-education and cognitive behaviour therapy. I also provide diagnostic assessments for autism and Asperger's Disorder in my Burnaby office.
Dr. Jim Roche
Registered Psychologist, British Columbia 01610
778.998-7975
www.relatedminds.com (couple/family therapy)
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
John Gottman Couples Therapy Interview
John Gottman Couples Therapy Interview
Everybody comes for "communications help" when they come for marriage therapy or couple or family therapy. But often the problem isn't one of lack of communication, they are communicating enough. The problem is often their expectations. This little video shows John Gottman talking about just this issue.
For information on my marraige and family therapy practice please go to www.relatedminds.com
Everybody comes for "communications help" when they come for marriage therapy or couple or family therapy. But often the problem isn't one of lack of communication, they are communicating enough. The problem is often their expectations. This little video shows John Gottman talking about just this issue.
For information on my marraige and family therapy practice please go to www.relatedminds.com
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
What to ask your Marriage or Couples Therapist
I just finished another phone call where I made a referral to another professional rather than taking the case myself. This was a personal referral, a medical doctor who sends couples to me and children for assessment suggested my name to a young woman with an eating disorder. I have never felt I had enough background in eating disorders to treat this disorder and simply told this woman that. I then helped her find a therapist with an appropriate background, education and training to help her. Every psychologist, and every therapist, is not trained or prepared to deal with every situation. I also refer assessments for children under 4, even though I have many years of experience with children and adolescents, I just don't feel competent to assess a 4 year old, but I know someone who is.
Couple and family therapy is like that. Not every therapist, counsellor or psychologist is really prepared to work with a couple or family. Here in British Columbia we have a special situation with there being registered professionals (Registered Psychologists and Registered Social Workers) and then, as odd as it may seem, people who list themselves as "registered" such as Registered Clinical Counsellors, who really are not registered at all!
What? How can that be? Well Registered Clinical Counsellors, RCCs, are not regulated by the government. "Registered" in British Columbia means you are able to practice because you have been granted permission to practice based upon education, experience and a professional examination administered by or acceptable to the REGULATORY AGENCY. The College of Psychologists is one such body here.
RCC's have a professional association, but unlike a regulatory body they do not have a separate government sanctioned process for certifying competence to the public. This doesn't mean that an RCC might not be a very well trained and experienced counsellor. Some are. But howe do you know who is well trained, especially in couple and family therapy, and who isn't?
Usually people look at titles, degrees and make a choice about who they should see, but with couple and marriage problems, this is not necessarily a good idea. An individual may say they provide family or couple therapy, but in reality have very little experience or educational background in the field. Marriage and Family Therapy is a regulated profession in all 50 states in the United States, and is in some parts of Canada (It is usually considered a specialty and requires specially training and education). In British Columbia it is not under the control of a regulatory body at present, so anyone, that's ANYONE, can call themselves a marriage and family therapist. How can you make sure you are seeing someone who has adequate training and experience?
Some therapists here in British Columbia belong to the professional association called the British Columbia Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (BCMFT). ALL of these individuals have graduate degree's in marriage and family therapy that meet the standards that those licensed in the United States and other parts of Canada meet. All members of BCAMFT have one or two years of full time supervised experience in marriage and family therapy (RCCs need only one hundred hours of supervision and might say they do marriage and couple work after a weekend workshop. There is no law or regulation protecting the title Marriage and Couple Therapist). So my advice is that if you are going to look for a couple, marriage or family therapist you check with BCAMFT and find someone who has meet their standards. Their web page can be found here BCAMFT.
BCAMFT is seeking to organize a "regulatory body" here in BC, and it will just be a matter of time before they do. What I know is that your best bet for finding an experienced family therapist is checking their website. You can also note that many of the clinical members of BCAMFT are also registered psychologists! Yes, you could find someone who has both registrations and this will often help with your insurance company.
After you locate two or three individuals you would like to contact prepare a list of questions to help you make a decision on who would be best for you. I'd write these questions down, so that you ask the same questions to all three people you are contacting. Here are some suggested questions to help you pick the right therapist for you:
1. Can you tell me about your background and training in marriage therapy? (Are they AAMFT or BCAMFT members? Did they attend a program that specialized and focused on marriage and family therapy? How many hours of experience were part of their training? Was their supervisor an "approved AAMFT supervisor?"
A simple follow-up question, which helps because many counsellors say they are trained in the field when they have minimal training and experience, is this:
"What professional association do you belong to that trains and supports marriage and couple counselling?"
If they are working in the field, and are really meet the criteria to be a marriage and family therapist, they should either belong to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) or the British Columbia Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (BCAMFT). If they are a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist they belong, if they don't belong it's most likely because they don't meet the standards for registration.
2. How much of your practice is in marriage and family therapy? Marriage therapy requires special skills, and someone who does mostly individual work would not be my choice. Some therapists try to have a balance of individual, testing and couples work. A good marriage or couple therapist should be seeing several couples every week. Couples therapy requires a mindset that individual therapy does not.
3. Of the couples you see, how many stay together? Usually about 70% of couples stay together. If your therapist says 90% it's something to wonder about. The research doesn't say that's likely (Read Dr. John Gottman's page for some insight into the therapy process. It can be found by clicking here.)
4. What is your experience helping couples like us? And how do you determine your goals?
5. What theories, therapist or books do you recommend to people? Most family therapists are what are known as "systemic" or "systems" therapists. Some are Cognitive behaviour therapists, and many these days will note the writings and techniques of John Gottman, a leading researcher in the field. A lot of therapists take theories and procedures from individual therapy and simply apply it to couples, but couples are a system, and families are complex systems. That's why AAMFT and BCAMFT require one to two years of full time supervised clinical experience working in the field.
I hope this has helped you if you are looking for a couple or marriage therapist. This is an important decision, and you need to find a competent and experienced therapist for this complex task. More information about my own practice can be found at www.relatedminds.com. You are welcome to contact me by phone (778.998-7975) or email (drjimroche@gmail.com) if you would like more information.
Couple and family therapy is like that. Not every therapist, counsellor or psychologist is really prepared to work with a couple or family. Here in British Columbia we have a special situation with there being registered professionals (Registered Psychologists and Registered Social Workers) and then, as odd as it may seem, people who list themselves as "registered" such as Registered Clinical Counsellors, who really are not registered at all!
What? How can that be? Well Registered Clinical Counsellors, RCCs, are not regulated by the government. "Registered" in British Columbia means you are able to practice because you have been granted permission to practice based upon education, experience and a professional examination administered by or acceptable to the REGULATORY AGENCY. The College of Psychologists is one such body here.
RCC's have a professional association, but unlike a regulatory body they do not have a separate government sanctioned process for certifying competence to the public. This doesn't mean that an RCC might not be a very well trained and experienced counsellor. Some are. But howe do you know who is well trained, especially in couple and family therapy, and who isn't?
Usually people look at titles, degrees and make a choice about who they should see, but with couple and marriage problems, this is not necessarily a good idea. An individual may say they provide family or couple therapy, but in reality have very little experience or educational background in the field. Marriage and Family Therapy is a regulated profession in all 50 states in the United States, and is in some parts of Canada (It is usually considered a specialty and requires specially training and education). In British Columbia it is not under the control of a regulatory body at present, so anyone, that's ANYONE, can call themselves a marriage and family therapist. How can you make sure you are seeing someone who has adequate training and experience?
Some therapists here in British Columbia belong to the professional association called the British Columbia Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (BCMFT). ALL of these individuals have graduate degree's in marriage and family therapy that meet the standards that those licensed in the United States and other parts of Canada meet. All members of BCAMFT have one or two years of full time supervised experience in marriage and family therapy (RCCs need only one hundred hours of supervision and might say they do marriage and couple work after a weekend workshop. There is no law or regulation protecting the title Marriage and Couple Therapist). So my advice is that if you are going to look for a couple, marriage or family therapist you check with BCAMFT and find someone who has meet their standards. Their web page can be found here BCAMFT.
BCAMFT is seeking to organize a "regulatory body" here in BC, and it will just be a matter of time before they do. What I know is that your best bet for finding an experienced family therapist is checking their website. You can also note that many of the clinical members of BCAMFT are also registered psychologists! Yes, you could find someone who has both registrations and this will often help with your insurance company.
After you locate two or three individuals you would like to contact prepare a list of questions to help you make a decision on who would be best for you. I'd write these questions down, so that you ask the same questions to all three people you are contacting. Here are some suggested questions to help you pick the right therapist for you:
1. Can you tell me about your background and training in marriage therapy? (Are they AAMFT or BCAMFT members? Did they attend a program that specialized and focused on marriage and family therapy? How many hours of experience were part of their training? Was their supervisor an "approved AAMFT supervisor?"
A simple follow-up question, which helps because many counsellors say they are trained in the field when they have minimal training and experience, is this:
"What professional association do you belong to that trains and supports marriage and couple counselling?"
If they are working in the field, and are really meet the criteria to be a marriage and family therapist, they should either belong to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) or the British Columbia Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (BCAMFT). If they are a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist they belong, if they don't belong it's most likely because they don't meet the standards for registration.
2. How much of your practice is in marriage and family therapy? Marriage therapy requires special skills, and someone who does mostly individual work would not be my choice. Some therapists try to have a balance of individual, testing and couples work. A good marriage or couple therapist should be seeing several couples every week. Couples therapy requires a mindset that individual therapy does not.
3. Of the couples you see, how many stay together? Usually about 70% of couples stay together. If your therapist says 90% it's something to wonder about. The research doesn't say that's likely (Read Dr. John Gottman's page for some insight into the therapy process. It can be found by clicking here.)
4. What is your experience helping couples like us? And how do you determine your goals?
5. What theories, therapist or books do you recommend to people? Most family therapists are what are known as "systemic" or "systems" therapists. Some are Cognitive behaviour therapists, and many these days will note the writings and techniques of John Gottman, a leading researcher in the field. A lot of therapists take theories and procedures from individual therapy and simply apply it to couples, but couples are a system, and families are complex systems. That's why AAMFT and BCAMFT require one to two years of full time supervised clinical experience working in the field.
I hope this has helped you if you are looking for a couple or marriage therapist. This is an important decision, and you need to find a competent and experienced therapist for this complex task. More information about my own practice can be found at www.relatedminds.com. You are welcome to contact me by phone (778.998-7975) or email (drjimroche@gmail.com) if you would like more information.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
John Gray: How Men Communicate
I've never been a big fan of John Gray, the author of Men are From Mars and Women, well, you know, VENUS! But often times when sitting in a session, trying to be very focused on teaching John Gottman's theory and doing John Gottman's exercises, I end up telling a story based on what I heard from John Gray.
It's pretty good stuff, and you should take some time to figure out why on your wife's birthday the card is more important than the gift, and on your husband's birthday it's the present that counts.
Enjoy this short video.
For more information on my Marriage, Couple and Family Therapy services, serving Burnaby, Coquitlam, New Westminster and Port Moody out of my Burnaby office, or information about my Vancouver office, click here. If you need information on how to get to my office, or about other services, click here.
Again, I remind you, if you are looking for a marriage, couple or family therapist your best choice is a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist in British Columbia. These are individuals with specific training and supervision in working with families. If your insurance carrier will only pay for the services of a Registered Psychologist, you will find a number of RMFTs are also Registered Psychologists.
It's pretty good stuff, and you should take some time to figure out why on your wife's birthday the card is more important than the gift, and on your husband's birthday it's the present that counts.
Enjoy this short video.
For more information on my Marriage, Couple and Family Therapy services, serving Burnaby, Coquitlam, New Westminster and Port Moody out of my Burnaby office, or information about my Vancouver office, click here. If you need information on how to get to my office, or about other services, click here.
Again, I remind you, if you are looking for a marriage, couple or family therapist your best choice is a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist in British Columbia. These are individuals with specific training and supervision in working with families. If your insurance carrier will only pay for the services of a Registered Psychologist, you will find a number of RMFTs are also Registered Psychologists.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Does Couple Counselling Work?
Does couple counselling work? That's a hard question to answer because success can mean something very different to one couple than another. What I do know is that if your marriage is having problems, you shouldn't wait too long to seek professional help. Sometimes success is a couple staying together. Sometimes it means breaking up. Sometimes it means breaking up and acting in a decent enough way to each other that the divorce doesn't have detrimental effects on your children. And sometimes it means breaking up and NOT making the same mistakes over and over again in your future relationships. But for most couples who show up at my office door for couple therapy or marriage counselling, their goal is to stay together. So what are your chances of staying together?
Some people think the answer is found in these questions:
Did you marry at an early age?
Did you not graduate from high school?
Are you in a low-income bracket?
Are you in an inter-faith marriage?
Did your parents divorce?
Do you criticize one another?
Is there a lot of defensiveness in your marriage?
Do you tend to withdraw from one another?
Do you feel contempt for one another?
If you answered "yes" to most of these questions, then you are statistically a higher risk for divorce than couples who have realistic expectations of one another and their marriage, communicate well, use conflict resolution skills, and are compatible with one another. But remember, that means you are statistically more at risk, not that your marriage or relationship is doomed. There are things that you can do, and two of the most effective areas you can do work on are criticism and contempt. John Gottman things these are the nuclear weapons of marriage problems, and he has the data and science to prove it.
The Effectiveness of Marriage Counselling
The science of marriage counselling is being studied in great detail these days, especially by science practitioners like John Gottman. Although some research studies have shown that marriage counselling is not as effective as people think, that women seem to get more from it than men, and that it might not have a lasting effect on the couple's marriage, we think that receiving professional help before problems reach critical stage is beneficial to a marriage. A study by AAMFT shows that families do want therapy and place a high value on the experience.
What Type of Couple Gets the Most From Marriage Counselling? Heres the list:
Young couples.
Non-sexist couples.
Couples who are still in love.
Couples who are open to therapy and change.
What Type of Couple Receives the Least from Marriage Counselling?
Couples who wait too long before seeking help.
Marriages with one or the other spouse set on getting a divorce.
Married individuals who are closed to any suggestions that may save the marriage.
Solutions Learned From Happy Couples
John Gottman's research looks at happy couples for solutions. He has discovered that even though all couples experience conflict in their marriages, happy couples apparently know how to handle their disagreements because of a foundation of affection and friendship.
Unhappy couples do not have this skill. Gottman suggests that the goal of couple therapy needs to change. Rather than trying to change marriages, he thinks counsellors should teach communication skills to couples. And this is best done by practice, practice and more practice. There are several books, DVD's and complete packaged programs available from the Gottman Institute. These can help, but most couples need personal guidance. My web page contains a number of these resources and your welcome to click here to check these resources out.
My practice, with offices close to Burnaby/Coquitlam/New Westminster and Vancouver can offer you this help. Click here for more information.
Finally, if you need a family therapist or couple therapist elsewhere in the province I suggest you look at the web site for the British Columbia Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy or the BC Psychology Association. If you go to the AAMFT or BCAMFT sites you will find licensed or registered family therapists who are also registered psychologists, this may help in finding someone who your insurance plan might cover. But most of all, see someone who is a registered marriage and family therapist. Others may claim they do family or couples therapy (such as RCC / Registered Clinical Counsellors or Registered Social Workers), but RMFTs, Registered Marriage and Family Therapists have specialized training working with couples, including on average two years of supervised clinical practice. Others may have taken a course in family therapy, but are not specialists.
Please feel free to contact me if you have questions about finding a family or couples counsellor.
Dr. Jim Roche
778.9987975
www.drjimroche.com
Some people think the answer is found in these questions:
Did you marry at an early age?
Did you not graduate from high school?
Are you in a low-income bracket?
Are you in an inter-faith marriage?
Did your parents divorce?
Do you criticize one another?
Is there a lot of defensiveness in your marriage?
Do you tend to withdraw from one another?
Do you feel contempt for one another?
If you answered "yes" to most of these questions, then you are statistically a higher risk for divorce than couples who have realistic expectations of one another and their marriage, communicate well, use conflict resolution skills, and are compatible with one another. But remember, that means you are statistically more at risk, not that your marriage or relationship is doomed. There are things that you can do, and two of the most effective areas you can do work on are criticism and contempt. John Gottman things these are the nuclear weapons of marriage problems, and he has the data and science to prove it.
The Effectiveness of Marriage Counselling
The science of marriage counselling is being studied in great detail these days, especially by science practitioners like John Gottman. Although some research studies have shown that marriage counselling is not as effective as people think, that women seem to get more from it than men, and that it might not have a lasting effect on the couple's marriage, we think that receiving professional help before problems reach critical stage is beneficial to a marriage. A study by AAMFT shows that families do want therapy and place a high value on the experience.
What Type of Couple Gets the Most From Marriage Counselling? Heres the list:
Young couples.
Non-sexist couples.
Couples who are still in love.
Couples who are open to therapy and change.
What Type of Couple Receives the Least from Marriage Counselling?
Couples who wait too long before seeking help.
Marriages with one or the other spouse set on getting a divorce.
Married individuals who are closed to any suggestions that may save the marriage.
Solutions Learned From Happy Couples
John Gottman's research looks at happy couples for solutions. He has discovered that even though all couples experience conflict in their marriages, happy couples apparently know how to handle their disagreements because of a foundation of affection and friendship.
Unhappy couples do not have this skill. Gottman suggests that the goal of couple therapy needs to change. Rather than trying to change marriages, he thinks counsellors should teach communication skills to couples. And this is best done by practice, practice and more practice. There are several books, DVD's and complete packaged programs available from the Gottman Institute. These can help, but most couples need personal guidance. My web page contains a number of these resources and your welcome to click here to check these resources out.
My practice, with offices close to Burnaby/Coquitlam/New Westminster and Vancouver can offer you this help. Click here for more information.
Finally, if you need a family therapist or couple therapist elsewhere in the province I suggest you look at the web site for the British Columbia Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy or the BC Psychology Association. If you go to the AAMFT or BCAMFT sites you will find licensed or registered family therapists who are also registered psychologists, this may help in finding someone who your insurance plan might cover. But most of all, see someone who is a registered marriage and family therapist. Others may claim they do family or couples therapy (such as RCC / Registered Clinical Counsellors or Registered Social Workers), but RMFTs, Registered Marriage and Family Therapists have specialized training working with couples, including on average two years of supervised clinical practice. Others may have taken a course in family therapy, but are not specialists.
Please feel free to contact me if you have questions about finding a family or couples counsellor.
Dr. Jim Roche
778.9987975
www.drjimroche.com
Monday, July 19, 2010
Children, Behaviour Problems and Couples Therapy: Which First?
Often couples come in to see me who are having problems both with their relationship and with their children's behaviour. "Which should we work on first?" is often the question. Well, it's hard to say, but I do know you can't get anywhere working on your children's behaviour issues while your fighting. So, generally I think it's relationship, then kids.
That doesn't mean that you should wait for your relationship to be fixed before you begin working on the kids. There are some simple techniques that will help improve things quickly, and working on these issues will be a good place for you and your spouse to try out your new couples and communications skills.
For those who are not familiar with my programs for children I do a considerable amount of child and adolescent therapy. This usually includes seeing the children briefly, so that I have a fairly good idea of how they are doing, and then training the parents. This is what works best, because parents spend the most time with their children and will have the greatest chance of effecting change.
Often initial child therapy involves developing some interactions skills that will come in useful. I often recommend Dr. Ross Greens book "The Explosive Child" in order to understand how to soften and reduce the frequency of temper tantrums. Yes, these are also good skills to use with each other, and even for couples without children I sometimes recommend this book! Next we try to develop a comprehensive behaviour plan that includes ignoring, as much as humanly possible, inappropriate behaviours, and reinforcing new appropriate behaviours. That means understanding why your child does something, and knowing what the "function" of the behaviour is. We then try to teach the child a new functionally equivalent replacement behaviour which still gets the child what he or she needs or wants, but to do it in an appropriate way. You may be thinking, well, maybe that's what we should be doing with each other as well. You right if that's what your thinking.
Often marriage or couple therapy is about developing a deeper understanding of the needs of the other, and together developing new appropriate ways to meet those needs. That goes for you, your spouse or your child.
If you would like to know more about family or marriage counselling please go to my web page at www.relatedminds.com If your having particular trouble with your child, especially one who has ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, autism or other problems, you could go directly to my attention deficit hyperactivity disorder website at www.adhdhelp.ca Finally, you can find out more about me at my Psychology Today web site by clicking here.
You can set up an appointment for my Burnaby office by calling 778.9980-7975 My Burnaby office serves Burnaby, New Westminster, Coquitlam, Port Moody, New West Minster and Maple Ridge. I also have offices in Vancouver. You will find a map to my office on my website.
That doesn't mean that you should wait for your relationship to be fixed before you begin working on the kids. There are some simple techniques that will help improve things quickly, and working on these issues will be a good place for you and your spouse to try out your new couples and communications skills.
For those who are not familiar with my programs for children I do a considerable amount of child and adolescent therapy. This usually includes seeing the children briefly, so that I have a fairly good idea of how they are doing, and then training the parents. This is what works best, because parents spend the most time with their children and will have the greatest chance of effecting change.
Often initial child therapy involves developing some interactions skills that will come in useful. I often recommend Dr. Ross Greens book "The Explosive Child" in order to understand how to soften and reduce the frequency of temper tantrums. Yes, these are also good skills to use with each other, and even for couples without children I sometimes recommend this book! Next we try to develop a comprehensive behaviour plan that includes ignoring, as much as humanly possible, inappropriate behaviours, and reinforcing new appropriate behaviours. That means understanding why your child does something, and knowing what the "function" of the behaviour is. We then try to teach the child a new functionally equivalent replacement behaviour which still gets the child what he or she needs or wants, but to do it in an appropriate way. You may be thinking, well, maybe that's what we should be doing with each other as well. You right if that's what your thinking.
Often marriage or couple therapy is about developing a deeper understanding of the needs of the other, and together developing new appropriate ways to meet those needs. That goes for you, your spouse or your child.
If you would like to know more about family or marriage counselling please go to my web page at www.relatedminds.com If your having particular trouble with your child, especially one who has ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, autism or other problems, you could go directly to my attention deficit hyperactivity disorder website at www.adhdhelp.ca Finally, you can find out more about me at my Psychology Today web site by clicking here.
You can set up an appointment for my Burnaby office by calling 778.9980-7975 My Burnaby office serves Burnaby, New Westminster, Coquitlam, Port Moody, New West Minster and Maple Ridge. I also have offices in Vancouver. You will find a map to my office on my website.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
How to Choose a Marriage and Family Counsellor or Therapist
How to choose a Marriage and Family Therapist
You will find a list of Registered Marriage and Family Therapists (RMFT’s) in British Columbia by clicking this link AAMFT.
All REGISTERED Marriage and Family Therapist are all clinical members of the British Columbia Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (BCAMFT) and the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT). This includes a graduate degree focused on family therapy and two years of close clinical supervision by an approved and specially trained supervisor.
When you have identified one or more RMFT from the list who are accessible to you, call and interview them briefly over the phone. Some questions you may want to consider are:
What is your educational and training background?
All registered marriage and family therapists therapists on this list are qualified and experienced, but you may like to find out where they went to school, their specialty, or how long they have been doing this work.
Do you have experience treating the kind of problem I have?
Remember, not all therapists can treat all problems. Sometimes a therapist specializes in certain areas. If the therapist’s area of expertise is not the one you are looking for, ask for a referral to a therapist who can best help you. You will need to briefly indicate the problems you are experiencing (eg. marital difficulties, stress, anxiety at work etc). You should expect the therapist to ask you a bit about your problems to se if THEY are a good fit.
How much do you charge and what is your method of payment?
Fees typically range in B.C. $100.00 to $125.00 for those with an MA. Those with doctorate degrees (PhD’s) typically charge $160.00 to $175.00 per hour.
Would you be covered under my employment insurance policy or any other plan?
Some employers, typically the larger ones, have extended health benefits that cover some counselling. Read the fine print carefully. Sometimes MFTs are covered, sometimes they are not. A number of larger companies have employee assistance plans (EAP’s) that do cover MFTs. Again, check a carefully with your employer’s human resources or personnel department. Although the therapist may not know the answer off hand (as there are many policies and they keep changing) he/she should be able to guide you to find out the information you seek. As well, some employers or insurance companies will add a particular therapist or professional therapy designation to their list of those who are covered if employees make the request.
A number of MFT here in British Columbia are also Registered Psychologist (in addition to their MFT training). Their services are almost always covered by extended health care plans.
Also, remember that you may see a number of individuals advertising, especially on the web, who say they are marriage and family therapist or practice marriage counselling. Many of these are RCCs (Registered Clinical Counsellors) or CCC (Canadian Clinical Counsellors). Unless they are members of the British Columbia Association of Marriage and Family Therapist they are not registered family therapists. Often they will have had a course of two in family therapy, and maybe have practiced family therapy for a while. However, this is very different from a clinical member of AAMFT and BCAMFT who have completed specialized graduate programs in the field and have had a minimum of 1,200 hours of supervised clinical experience under the supervision of an approved and specially trained supervisor. (Some RCCs may have as little as 100 hours of supervised training, CCCs even less.) Ask, "Are you a clinical member of the British Columbia Association of Marriage and Family Therapists?" If couple or family issues are your problem, go to an expert.
Where are the sessions held and what is the length of time of a session?
After you have had a brief conversation based on the above questions you should have a “feel” for this therapist. If you feel fairly positive, proceed with booking an appointment. If you don’t feel comfortable for any reason, interview some one else.
Finally, the usual length of session is 50 to 60 minutes. Sometimes you can arrange a longer
session.
For more information on specialized Family and Couple Therapy in British Columbia you can click here and go to BCAMFT website.
For information about my website go to www.relatedminds.com
You will find a list of Registered Marriage and Family Therapists (RMFT’s) in British Columbia by clicking this link AAMFT.
All REGISTERED Marriage and Family Therapist are all clinical members of the British Columbia Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (BCAMFT) and the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT). This includes a graduate degree focused on family therapy and two years of close clinical supervision by an approved and specially trained supervisor.
When you have identified one or more RMFT from the list who are accessible to you, call and interview them briefly over the phone. Some questions you may want to consider are:
What is your educational and training background?
All registered marriage and family therapists therapists on this list are qualified and experienced, but you may like to find out where they went to school, their specialty, or how long they have been doing this work.
Do you have experience treating the kind of problem I have?
Remember, not all therapists can treat all problems. Sometimes a therapist specializes in certain areas. If the therapist’s area of expertise is not the one you are looking for, ask for a referral to a therapist who can best help you. You will need to briefly indicate the problems you are experiencing (eg. marital difficulties, stress, anxiety at work etc). You should expect the therapist to ask you a bit about your problems to se if THEY are a good fit.
How much do you charge and what is your method of payment?
Fees typically range in B.C. $100.00 to $125.00 for those with an MA. Those with doctorate degrees (PhD’s) typically charge $160.00 to $175.00 per hour.
Would you be covered under my employment insurance policy or any other plan?
Some employers, typically the larger ones, have extended health benefits that cover some counselling. Read the fine print carefully. Sometimes MFTs are covered, sometimes they are not. A number of larger companies have employee assistance plans (EAP’s) that do cover MFTs. Again, check a carefully with your employer’s human resources or personnel department. Although the therapist may not know the answer off hand (as there are many policies and they keep changing) he/she should be able to guide you to find out the information you seek. As well, some employers or insurance companies will add a particular therapist or professional therapy designation to their list of those who are covered if employees make the request.
A number of MFT here in British Columbia are also Registered Psychologist (in addition to their MFT training). Their services are almost always covered by extended health care plans.
Also, remember that you may see a number of individuals advertising, especially on the web, who say they are marriage and family therapist or practice marriage counselling. Many of these are RCCs (Registered Clinical Counsellors) or CCC (Canadian Clinical Counsellors). Unless they are members of the British Columbia Association of Marriage and Family Therapist they are not registered family therapists. Often they will have had a course of two in family therapy, and maybe have practiced family therapy for a while. However, this is very different from a clinical member of AAMFT and BCAMFT who have completed specialized graduate programs in the field and have had a minimum of 1,200 hours of supervised clinical experience under the supervision of an approved and specially trained supervisor. (Some RCCs may have as little as 100 hours of supervised training, CCCs even less.) Ask, "Are you a clinical member of the British Columbia Association of Marriage and Family Therapists?" If couple or family issues are your problem, go to an expert.
Where are the sessions held and what is the length of time of a session?
After you have had a brief conversation based on the above questions you should have a “feel” for this therapist. If you feel fairly positive, proceed with booking an appointment. If you don’t feel comfortable for any reason, interview some one else.
Finally, the usual length of session is 50 to 60 minutes. Sometimes you can arrange a longer
session.
For more information on specialized Family and Couple Therapy in British Columbia you can click here and go to BCAMFT website.
For information about my website go to www.relatedminds.com
Friday, June 18, 2010
John Gottman on Repair
For more information on Gottman oriented therapy and counselling please visit my web site at www.relatedminds.com
John Gottman on the Four Horsemen
For more information on Gottman oriented marriage and couple counselling please visit my web page at www.relatedminds.com
John Gottman: The Magic Relationship Ratio
For more information on Gottman based marriage and family therapy please visit my website at www.relatedminds.com
Monday, June 14, 2010
An Introduction to John Gottman: Part 1
John Gottman has been conducting marital therapy research for over 25 years. (His web page can be found at www.gottman.com) There are many theorist in the field, but John Gottman is one of the few who have written books on marriage and couple therapy, practices marriage and couple therapy and has based his practice on research. Most others write books based upon their "experience," which we know is often wrong, and what they "feel" should work. Gottman does what has been scientifically been show to work!
In the next few blogs I want to review his work. I am going to start today by discussing some of the myths and truths about marital dysfunction.
1. Affairs cause divorces. Almost true. While 20-25% of people in mediation groups say that their spouse having an affair was A reason for their divorce, the major reason for divorce given by 80% was a "deterioration in intimacy."
2. Gender differences cause divorce. Well, as some have pointed out, if this were true we would expect a very high number of divorces in heterosexual couples and near zero with gay and lesbian couples. Gay and lesbian couples are not that lucky. It must be something else!
3. Communications problems cause divorce. Most couples coming to see me, like those coming to see most therapists, say they are having trouble with communication. The truth is distressed people communicate very clearly what they feel and mean. Sometimes too clearly. Therapy sometimes stressed expressing even more, only to further damage the relationship!
4. No "quid pro quo" makes unsuccessful marriages and relationships. Research shows this is not the case for troubled couples, but neither is it for happy couples.
What does the research show?
1. Positivity - positive statements - in happy couples is seen at a rate of 20-1! In couples in conflict its only 5-1. The best way to tell if a couple is getting divorced is to watch the number and quality of the interactions when they are NOT in stress and conflict.
2. Marriage tend to end at two times: at 5-7 years due to conflict; and at 10-12 years due to loss of intimacy.
3. When it comes to arguments the type of person you are with (an attacker, soother, avoider) is not as important as the MISMATCH between them.
4. And surprise! Most problematic issues (65%) don't get solved, they just get managed. Temper your expectations!
How does this research apply to you? I recommend reading Gottman's book Seven Principals for Making a Marriage Work to find out. It will guide you through how to understand this research, and how to make changes in your relationship. Much of this information translates into understanding two kinds of states that marriages can be in: 1) Positive Statement Override, where positive statements and behaviours outweigh negatives by 20-1, and Negative Statement Override where the ration is in favour of the negative, or the positives are below 5-1.
Therapy consists of learning what you can do about this, and in reality you can't confront the negative system override directly. Rather you need to develop and support the infrastructure of the positive override system. In therapy we learn to do this through practicing what are called "softened startups; self soothing;working to improve our "acceptance of influence"; making what are called "repair attempts; learning to de-escalate and compromise; making what are called "bids for affection," and avoiding "gridlock."
Most important, we must learn to avoid what Gottman calls the 4 Horseman: Criticism (what kind of person are you?); Contempt (I would never be so low as to do something like that!); Defensiveness (Yeah:? Well what about what you do?); and finally Stonewalling (shutting down).
In Gottman based therapy we focus on six basic skills: 1) Recognizing and avoiding the 4 Horseman; softening startups; Accepting influence (especially for men, yes, it's true); soothing physio arousal; recognizing and responding to repair attempts and finally compromise. Over the next few posts we will be addressing these skills, but we will follow this outline:
1. How to move from gridlock to dialogue
2. Learn how to recover after a fight
3. Reviewing these six basic social skills we just addressed
4. Making effective repairs
I hope this brief outline I will be offering will get you interested in the work of John Gottman. It's my opinion there is nothing that can help more in most cases. Sometimes couples are not ready for therapy and need to be seen individually first. And sometimes there is so much irrational thinking going on that a short period of individual cognitive behaviour therapy or rational emotive therapy might be the best way to start. See a therapist for help, and if you need to see a psychologist remember that a number of therapist here in BC are both registered psychologist and registered marriage and family therapists. You can locate a family therapist at the web site of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapist on their "Therapy Locator." Their licenses and registrations will be specified.
For more information on my practice you can visit my web page at www.relatedminds.com
In the next few blogs I want to review his work. I am going to start today by discussing some of the myths and truths about marital dysfunction.
1. Affairs cause divorces. Almost true. While 20-25% of people in mediation groups say that their spouse having an affair was A reason for their divorce, the major reason for divorce given by 80% was a "deterioration in intimacy."
2. Gender differences cause divorce. Well, as some have pointed out, if this were true we would expect a very high number of divorces in heterosexual couples and near zero with gay and lesbian couples. Gay and lesbian couples are not that lucky. It must be something else!
3. Communications problems cause divorce. Most couples coming to see me, like those coming to see most therapists, say they are having trouble with communication. The truth is distressed people communicate very clearly what they feel and mean. Sometimes too clearly. Therapy sometimes stressed expressing even more, only to further damage the relationship!
4. No "quid pro quo" makes unsuccessful marriages and relationships. Research shows this is not the case for troubled couples, but neither is it for happy couples.
What does the research show?
1. Positivity - positive statements - in happy couples is seen at a rate of 20-1! In couples in conflict its only 5-1. The best way to tell if a couple is getting divorced is to watch the number and quality of the interactions when they are NOT in stress and conflict.
2. Marriage tend to end at two times: at 5-7 years due to conflict; and at 10-12 years due to loss of intimacy.
3. When it comes to arguments the type of person you are with (an attacker, soother, avoider) is not as important as the MISMATCH between them.
4. And surprise! Most problematic issues (65%) don't get solved, they just get managed. Temper your expectations!
How does this research apply to you? I recommend reading Gottman's book Seven Principals for Making a Marriage Work to find out. It will guide you through how to understand this research, and how to make changes in your relationship. Much of this information translates into understanding two kinds of states that marriages can be in: 1) Positive Statement Override, where positive statements and behaviours outweigh negatives by 20-1, and Negative Statement Override where the ration is in favour of the negative, or the positives are below 5-1.
Therapy consists of learning what you can do about this, and in reality you can't confront the negative system override directly. Rather you need to develop and support the infrastructure of the positive override system. In therapy we learn to do this through practicing what are called "softened startups; self soothing;working to improve our "acceptance of influence"; making what are called "repair attempts; learning to de-escalate and compromise; making what are called "bids for affection," and avoiding "gridlock."
Most important, we must learn to avoid what Gottman calls the 4 Horseman: Criticism (what kind of person are you?); Contempt (I would never be so low as to do something like that!); Defensiveness (Yeah:? Well what about what you do?); and finally Stonewalling (shutting down).
In Gottman based therapy we focus on six basic skills: 1) Recognizing and avoiding the 4 Horseman; softening startups; Accepting influence (especially for men, yes, it's true); soothing physio arousal; recognizing and responding to repair attempts and finally compromise. Over the next few posts we will be addressing these skills, but we will follow this outline:
1. How to move from gridlock to dialogue
2. Learn how to recover after a fight
3. Reviewing these six basic social skills we just addressed
4. Making effective repairs
I hope this brief outline I will be offering will get you interested in the work of John Gottman. It's my opinion there is nothing that can help more in most cases. Sometimes couples are not ready for therapy and need to be seen individually first. And sometimes there is so much irrational thinking going on that a short period of individual cognitive behaviour therapy or rational emotive therapy might be the best way to start. See a therapist for help, and if you need to see a psychologist remember that a number of therapist here in BC are both registered psychologist and registered marriage and family therapists. You can locate a family therapist at the web site of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapist on their "Therapy Locator." Their licenses and registrations will be specified.
For more information on my practice you can visit my web page at www.relatedminds.com
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Research Supports Effectiveness of Marriage and Family Therapy / Counselling
The largest clinical trial of couple therapy ever conducted has found that therapy can help even very distressed married couples: if both partners want to improve their marriage. and that is a critical part of the findings.
“It takes only one person to end a marriage but two people to make it work,” said Andrew Christensen, the lead author of the study, which appears in the April issue of the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. The couples received up to 26 therapy sessions. Psychologists then conducted follow-up sessions approximately every six months for five years after therapy ended. When the therapy sessions were over, about two-thirds of the couples overall had shown "significant clinical improvement." The study included 134 married couples, 71 in Los Angeles and 63 in Seattle who were in their 30s and 40s. The couples were “chronically, seriously distressed” and fought frequently, but they were hoping to improve their marriages.
so there is hope, if you WANT to work on your marriage. In the next few posts I will look at the work of Dr. John Gottman of The Gottman Institute. Dr. Gottman was one of the first professionals to do scientific studies of couples and what the difference is between couples whose marriages withstand difficult times and those who don't. As a matter of fact Dr. Gottman is able to predict, after an initial interview, where your marriage is going.
Some of the factors that put couples at high risk for divorce are: Marriage at an early age; not graduating from high school; low-income bracket; inter-faith marriage; parents who were divorced; the way you criticize each other; the amount of defensiveness in your marriage; the tendency to withdraw from one another; and what can best be described as "contempt" for each other. These are all signs of you being statistically at higher risk of divorce. But they are also things we can actually do something about. These are things, for the most party, we can change or adapt to. If we want.
Who does well in marriage can couple counselling / therapy?
Young couples; non-sexist couples (yes, there is a reason for a therapist to push that issue!); couples who are still in love; and couples who are open to therapy and change.
In marriage and couple therapy we can help you set goals for what needs to change. We don't try to change your marriage, but instead teach you the skills to communicate your needs and perspectives. All couples experience conflict, most fight and argue! Happy couples know how to handle their disagreements because they have a relationship with a strong foundation of affection and friendship. Unhappy couples simply do not have these skills. But they are skills you can learn, practice and become experts at.
What the research is also clear about is that you shouldn't wait until it's too late. If you think your marriage is in trouble, get help and don't wait. One place you can look for a marriage therapist is through the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT). In British Columbia members of the BCAMFT are Clinical Members of AAMFT. Many are also Registered Psychologists or Social Workers. Look for a therapist early.
Dr. Jim Roche is a Registered Psychologist and Registered MArriage and Family Therapist. He has offices in Burnaby (close to Coquitlam, Port Moody and New Westminster) and Vancouver. you can find information on his practice at www.relatedminds.com or at his link through AAMFT. He has over twenty years experience as a clinical member of AAMFT.
Dr. Jim Roche
778.998-7975
clinicalpsychology@gmail.com
“It takes only one person to end a marriage but two people to make it work,” said Andrew Christensen, the lead author of the study, which appears in the April issue of the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. The couples received up to 26 therapy sessions. Psychologists then conducted follow-up sessions approximately every six months for five years after therapy ended. When the therapy sessions were over, about two-thirds of the couples overall had shown "significant clinical improvement." The study included 134 married couples, 71 in Los Angeles and 63 in Seattle who were in their 30s and 40s. The couples were “chronically, seriously distressed” and fought frequently, but they were hoping to improve their marriages.
so there is hope, if you WANT to work on your marriage. In the next few posts I will look at the work of Dr. John Gottman of The Gottman Institute. Dr. Gottman was one of the first professionals to do scientific studies of couples and what the difference is between couples whose marriages withstand difficult times and those who don't. As a matter of fact Dr. Gottman is able to predict, after an initial interview, where your marriage is going.
Some of the factors that put couples at high risk for divorce are: Marriage at an early age; not graduating from high school; low-income bracket; inter-faith marriage; parents who were divorced; the way you criticize each other; the amount of defensiveness in your marriage; the tendency to withdraw from one another; and what can best be described as "contempt" for each other. These are all signs of you being statistically at higher risk of divorce. But they are also things we can actually do something about. These are things, for the most party, we can change or adapt to. If we want.
Who does well in marriage can couple counselling / therapy?
Young couples; non-sexist couples (yes, there is a reason for a therapist to push that issue!); couples who are still in love; and couples who are open to therapy and change.
In marriage and couple therapy we can help you set goals for what needs to change. We don't try to change your marriage, but instead teach you the skills to communicate your needs and perspectives. All couples experience conflict, most fight and argue! Happy couples know how to handle their disagreements because they have a relationship with a strong foundation of affection and friendship. Unhappy couples simply do not have these skills. But they are skills you can learn, practice and become experts at.
What the research is also clear about is that you shouldn't wait until it's too late. If you think your marriage is in trouble, get help and don't wait. One place you can look for a marriage therapist is through the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT). In British Columbia members of the BCAMFT are Clinical Members of AAMFT. Many are also Registered Psychologists or Social Workers. Look for a therapist early.
Dr. Jim Roche is a Registered Psychologist and Registered MArriage and Family Therapist. He has offices in Burnaby (close to Coquitlam, Port Moody and New Westminster) and Vancouver. you can find information on his practice at www.relatedminds.com or at his link through AAMFT. He has over twenty years experience as a clinical member of AAMFT.
Dr. Jim Roche
778.998-7975
clinicalpsychology@gmail.com
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Marriage and Family Therapy Blog
Welcome to the Vancouver Marriage and Family Therapy Blog. Here I will try to provide some basic information on current practices in marriage, family and couples therapy, as well as some specific techniques that any couple might find useful to help their relationship grow.
I am a registered marriage and family therapist in British Columbia, as well as a registered psychologist. Additionally I am a clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT) and have licenses in social work and counselling in several other jurisdictions. I have a private practice in the lower mainland with offices in Burnaby and Vancouver. My Burnaby office is located at Lougheed Mall near Port Coquitlam and New Westminster. You can find out more about my practice at my professional website at www.drjimroche.com or at my Psychology Today site. My office hours include evening and weekends.
The next posting will begin with some basic information on marriage and couple therapy. After that I will try to explain some of the new research in the field of marriage therapy and give an explaination of the work of Dr. John Gottman, a leader in the field of marriage and couple's counselling. If you have any specific questions that you feel would be good for the blog just email me.
Key Words: Marriage therapy, marriage counselling, couples counselling, couples therapy, Vancouver, Burnaby, Coquitlam, New Westminster, Port Moody, psychologist, counsellor.
I am a registered marriage and family therapist in British Columbia, as well as a registered psychologist. Additionally I am a clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT) and have licenses in social work and counselling in several other jurisdictions. I have a private practice in the lower mainland with offices in Burnaby and Vancouver. My Burnaby office is located at Lougheed Mall near Port Coquitlam and New Westminster. You can find out more about my practice at my professional website at www.drjimroche.com or at my Psychology Today site. My office hours include evening and weekends.
The next posting will begin with some basic information on marriage and couple therapy. After that I will try to explain some of the new research in the field of marriage therapy and give an explaination of the work of Dr. John Gottman, a leader in the field of marriage and couple's counselling. If you have any specific questions that you feel would be good for the blog just email me.
Key Words: Marriage therapy, marriage counselling, couples counselling, couples therapy, Vancouver, Burnaby, Coquitlam, New Westminster, Port Moody, psychologist, counsellor.
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