Jim Roche, Ph.D, provides assessments for and diagnosis of ASD, as well as psychoeducational assessments, counselling and therapy services for individuals (children/adolescents/adults), couples and families in the Burnaby, Coquitlam, Port Moody and central Vancouver area. Dr. Jim Roche also provides services for adults with ASD including social skills coaching and workplace consultations.
He is trained in using social-cognitive therapy (social learning) methods developed by Michelle Garcia Winner with high functioning children and adolescents with Asperger's Disorder, NVLD (Non-Verbal Learning Disorders) high functioning autism and other related social cognitive deficits.
He is a member of the British Columbia RASP, Registry of Autism Services Providers, and if you qualify for ministry services his services will be covered for all ages of children.
You can find more information at any of these sites:
https://www.actcommunity.ca/resource/902/
https://www.relatedminds.comhttp://www.psychologists.bc.ca/users/jimroche
Showing posts with label Burnaby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Burnaby. Show all posts
Friday, December 15, 2017
Wednesday, December 13, 2017
What is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)?
What is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT)?
I've been suggesting this webpage to my patients, please try to reach it directly. If not, I have provided some of the information below.
http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/health_information/a_z_mental_health_and_addiction_information/CBT/Pages/default.aspx
Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) is a practical, short-term form of psychotherapy. It helps people to develop skills and strategies for becoming and stay healthy. This happens through an interactive process between the therapist and the patient. It's an educational process, focused on the here and now rather than the past. CBT was started by Dr. Albert Ellis, and was originally called Rational Emotive Therapy. A second practitioner developed a very similar method at about the same time, Dr. Aaron Beck. I have been lucky enough to have been trained by Dr. Ellis and have my Advanced Certificate in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy from the Albert Ellis Institute in New York City. Much of my doctoral work, in addition to family and couple's therapy, was in the use of CBT.
CBT is useful with adults, teens and children. We have some wonderful tools to use with younger children to teach them the same skills an adult would be learning in CBT.
CBT helps people to examine how they make sense of what is happening around them and how these perceptions affect the way they feel. CBT:
• is structured
• is time-limited (usually 6-20 sessions)
• is problem-focused and goal-oriented
• teaches strategies and skills
• is based on a poaitive, shared therapeutic relationship between therapist and client
In the video above Dr. Zindel Segal, a CBT expert, discusses how CBT works. The video also features people explaining how CBT helped them deal with various mental health problems, including depression and schizophrenia.
CBT model
The CBT model is built on a two-way relationship between thoughts (“cognitions”) and behaviours. Each can influence the other
Cognition
There are three levels of cognition:
• Conscious thoughts: Rational thoughts and choices that are made with full awareness.
• Automatic thoughts: Thoughts that flow rapidly, so that you may not be fully aware of them. This may mean you can’t check them for accuracy or relevance. In a person with a mental health problem, these thoughts may not be logical.
• Schemas: Core beliefs and personal rules for processing information. Schemas are shaped by influences in childhood and other life experiences.
Behaviour
Behaviour can be changed using techniques such as self-monitoring, activity scheduling (for depression) and exposure and response prevention (for anxiety).
What happens in CBT?
In CBT, clients learn to identify, question and change the thoughts, attitudes and beliefs related to the emotional and behavioural reactions that cause them difficulty.
By monitoring and recording thoughts during upsetting situations, people learn that how they think can contribute to emotional problems such as depression and anxiety. CBT helps to reduce these emotional problems by teaching clients to:
• identify distortions in their thinking
• see thoughts as ideas about what is going on, rather than as facts
• stand back from their thinking to consider situations from different viewpoints.
Where is CBT used?
There has been a lot of research on CBT. Evidence suggests that it is particularly effective in treating anxiety and depression. CBT has also been tailored to other specific problems.
For more information on CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) as provided in my office, please visit my webpage at:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists/jim-roche-burnaby-bc/70682or
http://www.relatedminds.com/therapy/
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy: Treatment for Anxiety and Depression, Vancouver, Burnaby,
Dr. Jim Roche provides CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) for anxiety and depression at his office at Production Way in Burnaby, BC. Dr. Roche holds an advanced certificate in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy from the Albert Ellis Instiute in New York, and provides comprehensive CBT treatment. CBT is an evidence based treatment procedure based upon the work of Dr. Albert Ellis and Dr. Aaron Beck. It is highly effective and short term. As a Registered Psychologist and Registered Marriage and Family Therapist Dr. Roche's services are usually covered by extended health care providers.
For more information visit his website at www.relatedminds.com
Below is an outline of what you can expect in treatment for anxiety or depression with CBT, as well as a comprehensive list of online resourses and self-help books.
.....................................................................................................
For more information visit his website at www.relatedminds.com
Below is an outline of what you can expect in treatment for anxiety or depression with CBT, as well as a comprehensive list of online resourses and self-help books.
.....................................................................................................
Anxiety 101
An Introduction to Interventions for Anxiety
Dr. Jim Roche, PhD JD CAGS
relatedminds@gmail.com
This short introduction is to help individuals I see in my practice deal with the common issues associated with anxiety. You might be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, or just have everyday anxiety like many others have in their day to day life's.
Anxiety itself is not a bad thing. It serves some useful purposes. It warns us about danger, calls on us to rethink things before taking actions we might regret, and it helps us focus in situations we need to ignore stimuli around us. It’s also, in some situations, is something we want and seek. No roller coaster ride, movie, television show or book would be enjoyable without a certain amount of anxiety.
Regretfully anxiety can get out of control, and can sometimes fill our day. Usually this is due to ongoing "automatic thoughts" we are having, sometimes beneath the level of consciousness, that we just can't get control of. Many people who see me take a long time to accept the idea that they are controlled not by the stimuli they are experiencing, but instead by automatic thoughts about those things. When your on a roller coaster, and you just finished one downhill ride and your going up and up and up you are having automatic thoughts about what's coming next. Your not hearing words, no voice is telling you to “hold on it's going to be scary”...but you are having thoughts that's you cannot control. You might start yelling, talking to yourself (No! No! No!) or scream, and when you do this your using a simple behavioural technique to control your thoughts, ”self talk." That's the sort of skill you need to learn in order to deal with your anxiety. Understanding and learning to use self-talk is one of several things that go on in therapy for anxiety.
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT)
The primary intervention we use in psychology to address anxiety is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy or CBT. Even if you make the choice to take medication, sooner or later you need to learn skills to deal with anxiety. CBT, along with behavioural techniques, are the evidence based methods we use.
CBT involves psychoeducation, reading or talking about the way CBT works, its theory and techniques, and practicing these techniques. A lot of what you will practice is a variation on a much older method called "exposure therapy." Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck, the two clinicians who developed CBT (Ellis called it Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy or REBT) understood that exposure therapy often wasn't enough to successfully combat anxiety because sometimes symptoms transfer to new situations once you have them under control in one area of your life. They also understood that at the heart of anxiety that gets beyond your control is the fact that you have developed a way of thinking that encourages anxiety, negative automatic thoughts, and behaviours that reinforce it, avoidance or panic. During the psychoeducational part of therapy we discuss these issues because you need to learn to recognize when these things are happening before you can do something about them.
As you can see, in CBT we don’t talk about your past, but we do a lot of talking.
There are several books and websites that discuss all of this. I will suggest some books for adults, and a structured intervention process for children. Online there is already a wonderful, brief, and direct resource here in British Columbia called "AnxietyBC." This website has all of the materials you need. Sometimes the website can be a little difficult to navigate, so I will suggest specific searches to enter into your search engine (google) that will lead you right to a PDF that addresses each topic or skill. If you can't find them, email me or look for the list on my website. They are all listed at the end of this short introduction.
Another source that might seem silly at first, but really is helpful, is looking these names, topics and techniques up on Wikipedia. There is a lot of strange and frankly wrong things out there on the web about mental health, but looking up topics like cognitive behaviour therapy, Albert Ellis, Aaron Beck, exposure therapy or relaxation methods leads you to some pretty simple and clear explanations. The UK and Australia also have a multitude of resources for CBT and have adopted it as their primary method of addressing anxiety and depression.
"I've done CBT before and it wasn't helpful!"
Regretfully Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is taught by a lot of people with insufficient training, using only manuals and often mixed in with a lot of other therapeutic interventions that contradict the theory and practice of CBT. CBT is highly effective a good part of the time. Sometimes it is combined with medication. Sometimes it needs to be practiced for a long time. Look up Albert Ellis, Aaron Beck or his daughter Judith Beck and find a video of them talking or actually doing CBT with patients. It's a direct therapy. It's about questioning what you believe and think. It's somewhat confrontational because it's based on the Socratic method - a trained CBT therapist will ask you a lot of uncomfortable questions. And it asks you to participate in exposure therapy - which is inherently uncomfortable. Most people I see who have completed CBT with someone else can't explain the method to me, they don't understand the theory and can't tell me about any exercises they engaged in or describe the process of therapy in a logical manner. You need to be able to do these things for CBT to work. CBT isn’t just about addressing your anxiety or depression, it’s about changing the way you think.
What about Relaxation?
The AnxietyBC site teaches you a complex relaxation method. It's similar to what I was taught, but more complicated. You do need to learn how to relax, and that means learning to control your breathing, muscles and what is going on in your head. I'll teach you a very simple method to PRACTICE. You will practice, practice and practice some more, and then you will try using it on minor issues in your life before using it in a crisis situation where it is least likely to work. We want you to use skills first in situations where they are more likely than not to work. THEN you will use them in a variety of situations, and after that you can try the skills in more complex and difficult places. One of the exercises is developing a “Fear Ladder,” which we then use for you to learn how to use these techniques in an increasingly set of situations.
My last therapist taught me Mindfulness, do you teach that?
Honestly, "Mindfulness" is not very useful in situations where people are having serious difficulty with anxious thoughts. I know therapists and counsellors tell people this is "research based,” but there really isn't much research on using "mindfulness techniques" with individuals having significant anxiety problems. Yes, there are literally hundreds of books on mindfulness, there are school based programs, on-line programs and iPad apps. That's not research, that’s sales. Using an inappropriate techniques such as mindfulness to address serious anxiety problems, situations where you are having panic attacks, near panic attacks, have intrusive negative thoughts or your mind becomes confused and you are having physical symptoms of anxiety, makes little sense to me. It is more likely going to lead to repeated failure, and reinforce the very negative thinking patterns we are trying to avoid. It will prove to you that "there seems to be nothing that works..." There is a time and place for mindfulness, but not until you know techniques to control your intrusive thoughts and symptoms.
The research for mindfulness was originally done at the University of Massachusetts in Worcester Mass, and a great resource on doing "Mindfulness" is anything written by Jon Kabat-Zinn. My advice on mindfulness is to read Full Catastrophe Living (Revised Edition): Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness. Here is something from the latest edition's book review:
"Stress. It can sap our energy, undermine our health if we let it, even shorten our lives. It makes us more vulnerable to anxiety and depression, disconnection and disease. Based on Jon Kabat-Zinn’s renowned mindfulness-based stress reduction program (MDSR), this classic, groundbreaking work—which gave rise to a whole new field in medicine and psychology—shows you how to use medically proven mind-body approaches derived from meditation and yoga to counteract stress, establish greater balance of body and mind, and stimulate well-being and healing. By engaging in these mindfulness practices and integrating them into your life from moment to moment and from day to day, you can learn to manage chronic pain, promote optimal healing, reduce anxiety and feelings of panic, and improve the overall quality of your life, relationships, and social networks. This second edition features results from recent studies on the science of mindfulness, a new Introduction, up-to-date statistics, and an extensive updated reading list. Full Catastrophe Living is a book for the young and the old, the well and the ill, and anyone trying to live a healthier and saner life in our fast-paced world."
Sounds great? It is over 700 pages long! People who get through it, love it. There are shorter workbooks, but as far as mindfulness goes, this is THE book. You can also get the book on CD or download it through audible.com. I will also suggest some shorter books during our sessions.
What I think is critical is to note that mindfulness is a technique use to avoid relapse AFTER you have used other techniques to get your racing thoughts and anxiety under control. It's a long-term project for everyone. It is not a technique for those in crisis seeking professional psychological help, and I am often very disillusioned when I see individuals who have serious problems with anxiety and are advised to use mindfulness as a first line of intervention.
Alternatively I suggest these books (also available on audible.com):
1. Feeling Good The New Mood Therapy (also a fairly long read) by Dr. David Burns
I have done several trainings with Dr. Burns, and his methods are clear and evidence based. He taught at the Albert Ellis Institute in New York when I received my advanced certification in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. This book is an excellent choice for those interested in self-help material. Here is a link to a short audio clip from Dr. Burns: https://youtu.be/33G1Aue4cP8
2. Mastery Your Anxiety Worry: Treatments That Work by Dr. David Barlow
This is a much shorted treatment guide by one of the most well know clinicians alive today. Dr. Barlow has written many treatment guides that are evidence based, and this one has a short set of interventions broken down into a series of discrete lessons. I often use this in treatment in my office. There is a separate clinician guide and training book to help organize the week by week sessions. Here is a brief video with Dr. Barlow: https://youtu.be/HHjnG5fFPYg
3. Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think (Get the SECOND EDITION )by Dennis Greenberger and Christine Padesky.
Again, this is a workbook, and it covers all the necessary topics for not just panic and anxiety disorders, but also how to use these same techniques to address depression and related issues. Again, this is a workbook I often use in my practice. It is highly recommended, and if you are going to work on anxiety by yourself (self-help), this might be a better workbook than the David Barlow book.
There are many more books out there, but these are the ones I would recommend.
For children and teens: We often use a curriculum called “The Incredible 5-Point Scale.” This is a great series of books, workbooks, posters and classroom lessons appropriate for all children. Additionally you will find that AnxietyBC has a complete set of materials for working with children and teens. This includes videos and workbooks. AnxietyBC has some really great videos which you can get at the public library or watch on their website. I sometimes suggest these to my adult patients, as it provides a great example of how anxiety works on others that is easily understood.
Where do we start and what does a treatment series look like?
Here is a brief outline of where we usually go.
If we decide to use a workbook such as the Mastery Your Anxiety Worry: Treatments That Work by Dr. David Barlow, we would follow that book. The second most likely workbook I would use is “Mind Over Mood.” Usually each session consist of about 50% of the time spend reviewing the curriculum in the workbook and 50% talking about particular problems you are having at home, in relationships or at work. Usually weekly sessions are advised for 6-8 weeks. After that patients come back after a month, and then periodically as needed. Trying out methods and getting on-going coaching is the key to success.
First Topic Set: We will talk with the aim of understanding you and your symptoms. We talk, explore what’s going on, and address how we would use CBT on one problem you are having. Also, during the first session you are usually assigned readings about CBT. I would ask you to read some of the PDFs below: What is Anxiety? What is CBT? etc. Finally, usually during the first session, we practice a short relaxation method. This topic set might be completed in one or two sessions.
Second Topic Set: We review the readings and the concepts behind CBT, and make sure you understand them. We practice using CBT on a problem. We practice the relaxation method again and I ask you to again read the PDF on relaxation methods. Next we review the Realistic Thinking Form and Challenging Negative Thinking. Calm Breathing is then reviewed and we discuss how to use self-talk, and may or may not address using an “Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts” card, a technique to address serious and seemingly overwhelming intrusive thoughts. Finally, we review materials from the first week and discuss which techniques are most appropriate for you. From this we develop a brief anxiety plan.
Third Topic Set: We review the previous two weeks lessons and skills. We usually practice calm breathing and the relaxation methods we agreed upon and review the behavioural prompt aspects of the method. We then develop a long term plan for addressing your most serious problems. At this point some patients make a choice to start to follow a self-help workbook like “Mind Over Mood” and that workbook guides our process.
ADULT Helpful "How To" Documents for Self-Help (AnxietyBC)
Here is a list of the PDF documents from AnxietyBC that I often use in sessions. If you are reading this list online or as a PDF on your computer you will be able to click these documents and get the PDF. If not, type into your search engine “AnxietyBC, PFD, (then the name of the document).” The list is also available on my website at www.relatedminds.com. Look for the page of forms and handouts. It’s at the bottom of the page.
CHILDREN AND TEENS: Helpful "How To" Documents for Parents
Home Management Tips for Parents
I hope this brief outline if helpful to you in understanding the therapy process. The process itself is often followed by individuals in a self-help manner, but there are a lot of technical issues that come up that require coaching. What you need to remember is that cognitive behaviour therapy isn’t just learning a quick and easy procedure such as a breathing exercise. CBT is about a way of thinking. Your anxiety or depression is caused by the automatic thoughts you come to problems with. CBT doesn’t seek to teach you that everything is great and you need to be happy. It teaches you to think REASONABLY, rationally. Read the PDF on Realistic Thinking to fully understand this. Life is still difficult at times. CBT is a technique to help you approach problems and issues in your life in a realistic, reasonable and rational manner. And that kind of thinking can help everyone in their relationships, at school or work. If you decide to learn CBT you will be learning a method to approach all of life in a more successful manner.
I hope this short introduction is helpful.
Dr. Jim Roche
Registered Psychologist
Registered Marriage and Family Therapist
relatedminds@gmail.com
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
Clinical Supervision for Psychologists, Counsellors and Related Mental Health Professionals
Dr. Jim Roche offers individual clinical supervision for those seeking registration or licensing in psychology, clinical counselling and related mental health fields.
Dr. Roche completed his required supervision at Middletown Psychiatric Center and Community Clinic in Middletown, New York, and a second year of supervised experience at Kirby forensic Psychiatric Center in New York City. Both of these sites were APA approved internship sites with full time experience of over 18 hours, including individual and group supervision.
Dr. Roche also served as the clinical director of the Kirby Forensic Hospital Forensic Psychology Internship program and was a member of the Department of Psychiatry at New York University Hospital, serving as a Clinical Instructor for the forensic Psychology Program.
Additionally he has received training at the Alber Ellis Institute in New York City, and holds an Advanced Certificate in Cognitive Behavior Therapy from the Institute. Later he also completed a year of supervised experience as a school psychologist and in addition to being a registered/licensed psychologist also holds his certificate in special education and school psychology from New York State.
His training includes work in Psychoanalytic therapy, behavior therapy and cognitive behavior therapy. Currently his practice specializes in working with children, families and adults with autism spectrum disorder (Asperger's Disorder).
While he is able to provide internship supervision, placement in an appropriate setting is up to the student. Before an internship agreement is signed a written contract must be developed that meets the requirements of your governing body and APA standards of proactice.
For more information on clinical supervision or consultation, please contact Dr. Roche through his website at www.relatedminds.com
Dr. Roche completed his required supervision at Middletown Psychiatric Center and Community Clinic in Middletown, New York, and a second year of supervised experience at Kirby forensic Psychiatric Center in New York City. Both of these sites were APA approved internship sites with full time experience of over 18 hours, including individual and group supervision.
Dr. Roche also served as the clinical director of the Kirby Forensic Hospital Forensic Psychology Internship program and was a member of the Department of Psychiatry at New York University Hospital, serving as a Clinical Instructor for the forensic Psychology Program.
Additionally he has received training at the Alber Ellis Institute in New York City, and holds an Advanced Certificate in Cognitive Behavior Therapy from the Institute. Later he also completed a year of supervised experience as a school psychologist and in addition to being a registered/licensed psychologist also holds his certificate in special education and school psychology from New York State.
His training includes work in Psychoanalytic therapy, behavior therapy and cognitive behavior therapy. Currently his practice specializes in working with children, families and adults with autism spectrum disorder (Asperger's Disorder).
While he is able to provide internship supervision, placement in an appropriate setting is up to the student. Before an internship agreement is signed a written contract must be developed that meets the requirements of your governing body and APA standards of proactice.
For more information on clinical supervision or consultation, please contact Dr. Roche through his website at www.relatedminds.com
Monday, March 7, 2016
Couple, Marriage and Family Therapy: Burnaby / Vancouver
I provide couple, marriage and family therapy in my office in Burnaby, BC. My office is located with quick accesds to Vancouver, Burnaby, Coquitlam and New Westminster. Office hours are available in the afternoon, evening and some Saturdays.
Couple therapy is based upon the work of Dr. John Gottman, as well as other cognitve-behavioural theraies such as RET (Rational Emotive Therapy) and CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy).
In addition to being a registered psychologist and holding a PhD in clinical psychology, I also hold a graduate degree in marriage and family therapy and completed two years of supervised experience just in couples therapy. I have been a Registered and Licensed Marriage and Family herapist for over two decades and am a Clinical Member and Fellow of the American Association for Marriage and Family Counselling (AAMFT).
I also provide individual therapy for depression, anxiety, workplace stress and OCD. I also have a good number of adult patients with asperger's and autism spectrum disorder who are seen for marriage and relationship counselling. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
For more information please visit my web page at:
http://www.relatedminds.com/couple-family-therapy
www.relatedminds.com
Couple therapy is based upon the work of Dr. John Gottman, as well as other cognitve-behavioural theraies such as RET (Rational Emotive Therapy) and CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy).
In addition to being a registered psychologist and holding a PhD in clinical psychology, I also hold a graduate degree in marriage and family therapy and completed two years of supervised experience just in couples therapy. I have been a Registered and Licensed Marriage and Family herapist for over two decades and am a Clinical Member and Fellow of the American Association for Marriage and Family Counselling (AAMFT).
I also provide individual therapy for depression, anxiety, workplace stress and OCD. I also have a good number of adult patients with asperger's and autism spectrum disorder who are seen for marriage and relationship counselling. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
For more information please visit my web page at:
http://www.relatedminds.com/couple-family-therapy
www.relatedminds.com
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Gottman Couple's Therapy -Marriage and Couples Counselling Explained
About John Gottman
Many therapist in the Northwest use a particular type of therapy called "Gottman Couples Therapy." Unlike some others, Gottman therapy isn't something simply made up, or heavily influenced by a theory. Instead Gottman developed his therapeutic methods by watching and observing couples first hand, through camera and windows at his research centre in Washington state. I really don't know of any other marriage therapy that is so research based rather than theory based.
John Gottman has been conducting this marital therapy research for 25 years, and is a well-respected leader in the field. Gottman has studied what he calls "masters" and "disasters" of marriage, and offers that there are a number of myths about why marriages actually fail that need to be cleared up. Thesauri based upon "theory," which, I have to say, is often just what someone thought and then wrote a book about.
Myths And Truths Of Marital Dysfunction
Myth 1 Affairs cause divorces - 20-25% of mediation groups say an affair was a reason, but the reason given by 80% is deterioration of intimacy. Further, 70% of men and 40% of women had affairs in the 1970's but the numbers are now about equal, largely due to women moving into the work force and having greater access to partners.
Myth 2 Gender differences cause divorce - if this were so, the divorce rate would be 100% for heterosexual couples, and 0% for gay and lesbian couples
Myth 3 Communication problems cause marital conflict - actually, distressed people communicate quite clearly what they feel and mean
Myth 4 No quid pro quo makes for an unsuccessful marriage - the idea is that doing good things for your partner is contractual on getting good things back; research shows this is not the case for ailing couples, but neither is it the case for happy couples either
You will find these ideas fully explained on the Gottman Institute web page at www.gottman.com
So what is true?
Truth 1 Positivity in interactions in happy couples is 20 to 1, in conflicted couples is 5 to 1, and in soon-to-divorce couples is .8 to 1. Watching a couple interact when they are not in conflict is the best way to predict their risk for divorce
Truth 2 Marriages tend to end at one of two times:
5-7 years due to high conflict
10-12 years due to the loss of intimacy and connection
(there is some disagreement with Gottman on this issue, as marriages certainly end before 5-7 years, as well as between 7 and 10 years, but Gottman argues these are critical or high risk times for marriages)
Truth 3 When it comes to arguments, the type of person one partners with (attacker, soother, avoider) is not so important as the mismatch between the couple:
soothers overwhelm avoiders, and you get the distancer-pursuer dynamic
soothers and attackers have little ability to influence each other, little positive sentiment, and a great deal of emotional tension
avoiders and attackers are the worst pairing, with severe distancer-pursuer dynamic
Truth 4 Most problematic issues (69% in fact) don't get solved, they get "managed."
The Basic Gottman Model
Gottman follows a clear but flexible model:
Here is what to do: Move "Gridlock to Dialogue"
Learn-Teach recovery after a fight - sure, you would prefer they avoid nasty fights, but Gottman has found in his research that fighting in and of itself is not the problem. In fact, couples who do not fight at all are more likely to end up divorced.
Learn-Teach six basic social skills
Recognizing (and avoiding) what he calls the 4 Horsemen
Softening startups of interactions
Accepting influence from your partner (especially for men)
Learn how to sooth physiological arousal (relaxation techniques can help partners calm down during heated arguments, but once they are upset, it may take over 20 minutes for the body to slow itself down to calm levels)
Lear to recognize (and responding to) what Gottman calls "repair attempts" that occur during a conflicted interaction
Learn to compromise
While some of these are technical terms you will learn in Gottman based therapy, or just by reading his books or watching his videos, I bet most of them you could figure out. I suggest you visit his website www.gottman.com, watch some videos available on his website and youtube, and then decide if you'd like a third party - therapist - involved.
Some people come in and do full strength Gottman therapy, usually seeing me weekly for 8-10 weeks, and then some follow up sessions. Some people come in and for one reason or another start couple counselling by having hour or two consult, and go off with their copies of Gottman's books or his self-help DVD set, and come back for "consultations." This isn't easy, but for some its necessary. Finally, some couple come in, learn about Gottman and the process and go off for a weekend or week long training/therapy/consultation session at either the Gottman Institute or with another practitioner who might do weekend long workshop who I suggest.
Whatever you do, I advise you to see a Registered or Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist rather than a "counsellor" with little experience or training in the field. Members of the AAMFT (American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy) are highly trained specialists with graduate degrees focused on marriage and family therapy, usually 2 years of supervised experience and in most locations they have passed professional tests in the field (in BC "clinical counsellors are not members of a regulatory body, nor do they take any qualifying exams). You can learn more about marriage and family therapists at the web site for the BCAMFT (British Columbia Association for Marriage and Family Therapy).
If you are interested in seeing me for marriage and family therapy, I am also a licensed and registered psychologist, and costs are usually covered (to some degree) by your medical plan. Please visit my website at www.relatedminds.com or the marriage and family therapy page at http://www.relatedminds.com/couple-family-therapy/
I have offices in Burnaby, Vancouver and Seattle, Washington. Please contact me through my website to set up an appointment.
Many therapist in the Northwest use a particular type of therapy called "Gottman Couples Therapy." Unlike some others, Gottman therapy isn't something simply made up, or heavily influenced by a theory. Instead Gottman developed his therapeutic methods by watching and observing couples first hand, through camera and windows at his research centre in Washington state. I really don't know of any other marriage therapy that is so research based rather than theory based.
John Gottman has been conducting this marital therapy research for 25 years, and is a well-respected leader in the field. Gottman has studied what he calls "masters" and "disasters" of marriage, and offers that there are a number of myths about why marriages actually fail that need to be cleared up. Thesauri based upon "theory," which, I have to say, is often just what someone thought and then wrote a book about.
Myths And Truths Of Marital Dysfunction
Myth 1 Affairs cause divorces - 20-25% of mediation groups say an affair was a reason, but the reason given by 80% is deterioration of intimacy. Further, 70% of men and 40% of women had affairs in the 1970's but the numbers are now about equal, largely due to women moving into the work force and having greater access to partners.
Myth 2 Gender differences cause divorce - if this were so, the divorce rate would be 100% for heterosexual couples, and 0% for gay and lesbian couples
Myth 3 Communication problems cause marital conflict - actually, distressed people communicate quite clearly what they feel and mean
Myth 4 No quid pro quo makes for an unsuccessful marriage - the idea is that doing good things for your partner is contractual on getting good things back; research shows this is not the case for ailing couples, but neither is it the case for happy couples either
You will find these ideas fully explained on the Gottman Institute web page at www.gottman.com
So what is true?
Truth 1 Positivity in interactions in happy couples is 20 to 1, in conflicted couples is 5 to 1, and in soon-to-divorce couples is .8 to 1. Watching a couple interact when they are not in conflict is the best way to predict their risk for divorce
Truth 2 Marriages tend to end at one of two times:
5-7 years due to high conflict
10-12 years due to the loss of intimacy and connection
(there is some disagreement with Gottman on this issue, as marriages certainly end before 5-7 years, as well as between 7 and 10 years, but Gottman argues these are critical or high risk times for marriages)
Truth 3 When it comes to arguments, the type of person one partners with (attacker, soother, avoider) is not so important as the mismatch between the couple:
soothers overwhelm avoiders, and you get the distancer-pursuer dynamic
soothers and attackers have little ability to influence each other, little positive sentiment, and a great deal of emotional tension
avoiders and attackers are the worst pairing, with severe distancer-pursuer dynamic
Truth 4 Most problematic issues (69% in fact) don't get solved, they get "managed."
The Basic Gottman Model
Gottman follows a clear but flexible model:
Here is what to do: Move "Gridlock to Dialogue"
Learn-Teach recovery after a fight - sure, you would prefer they avoid nasty fights, but Gottman has found in his research that fighting in and of itself is not the problem. In fact, couples who do not fight at all are more likely to end up divorced.
Learn-Teach six basic social skills
Recognizing (and avoiding) what he calls the 4 Horsemen
Softening startups of interactions
Accepting influence from your partner (especially for men)
Learn how to sooth physiological arousal (relaxation techniques can help partners calm down during heated arguments, but once they are upset, it may take over 20 minutes for the body to slow itself down to calm levels)
Lear to recognize (and responding to) what Gottman calls "repair attempts" that occur during a conflicted interaction
Learn to compromise
While some of these are technical terms you will learn in Gottman based therapy, or just by reading his books or watching his videos, I bet most of them you could figure out. I suggest you visit his website www.gottman.com, watch some videos available on his website and youtube, and then decide if you'd like a third party - therapist - involved.
Some people come in and do full strength Gottman therapy, usually seeing me weekly for 8-10 weeks, and then some follow up sessions. Some people come in and for one reason or another start couple counselling by having hour or two consult, and go off with their copies of Gottman's books or his self-help DVD set, and come back for "consultations." This isn't easy, but for some its necessary. Finally, some couple come in, learn about Gottman and the process and go off for a weekend or week long training/therapy/consultation session at either the Gottman Institute or with another practitioner who might do weekend long workshop who I suggest.
Whatever you do, I advise you to see a Registered or Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist rather than a "counsellor" with little experience or training in the field. Members of the AAMFT (American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy) are highly trained specialists with graduate degrees focused on marriage and family therapy, usually 2 years of supervised experience and in most locations they have passed professional tests in the field (in BC "clinical counsellors are not members of a regulatory body, nor do they take any qualifying exams). You can learn more about marriage and family therapists at the web site for the BCAMFT (British Columbia Association for Marriage and Family Therapy).
If you are interested in seeing me for marriage and family therapy, I am also a licensed and registered psychologist, and costs are usually covered (to some degree) by your medical plan. Please visit my website at www.relatedminds.com or the marriage and family therapy page at http://www.relatedminds.com/couple-family-therapy/
I have offices in Burnaby, Vancouver and Seattle, Washington. Please contact me through my website to set up an appointment.
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Couple, Marriage, Family and Individual Therapy
In my practice (offices in Burnaby, Vancouver and Seattle, WA) I see individuals, couples and families for therapy. Often therapy for individuals or couples centers around specific behavioural issues and thinking processes which is addressed through the use of cognitive and behavioural techniques known as CBT or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. For more information about CBT and what CBT is I would visit the following webpage: www.anxietybc.com and see how CBT is used to address issues relating to anxiety. It is also used to address depression and other issues. You might want to take a quick look at the wikipedia page that describes CBT-Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, it's history and practice. Click here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy
As it says, "Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is short-term psychotherapy originally designed to treat depression, but is now used for a number of mental illnesses. It works to solve current problems and change unhelpful thinking and behavior. The name refers to behavior therapy, cognitive therapy, and therapy based upon a combination of basic behavioral and cognitive principles. Most therapists working with patients dealing with anxiety and depression use a blend of cognitive and behavioral therapy."
Short term, behaviour and skill focused. A good place to look for more information about CBT is looking up the two therapist who originated CBT, Dr. Albert Ellis (who for a short time served as my supervisor and it is from his psychotherapy institute in New York where I earned my advanced certificate in CBT or, as it was called then, Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy, and Dr. Aaron Beck. I have also had the pleasure and privilege to attend trainings with Dr. Beck and others from his institute in Philadelphia.
I also see couples, and sometimes use CBT techniques with them, but often move to techniques and practices from Dr. John Gottman. Dr. Gottman has a training institute in Washington and focuses on working with couples. For more about Dr. Gottman and his form of couple's therapy click here: https://www.gottman.com/about-gottman-method-couples-therapy/
Gottman family therapy is really one of the few couple/marriage or family therapy methods that is based upon science, and you can read all about that on his web page above.
In addition to being a licensed and registered psychologist, my early training was in family therapy and I worked for many years as a couple's therapist and family therapist under my Marriage and Family Therapist license. I am currently a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist and a Clinical Member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.
Individuals who are Registered Family Therapists, or Licensed Family Therapists, generally have a two or three year MA or MS degree specifically in marriage and family therapy, with a specific set of coursework. Licensed and Registered Family Therapist have one or two years of full time supervised experience practicing marriage and family therapy under a specially trained therapist. I myself have completed towers in marriage and family therapy.
If you are interested in my services, please visit my website at either www.relatedminds.com or http://www.relatedminds.com/couple-family-therapy/ for more information. Whatever you decide to do, if your looking for help with a relationship, help with your marriage or help with your children, I suggest you consider a licensed or registered marriage and family therapist. While some counsellors claim to be family therapists or couples counsellors, they are not necessarily registered marriage and family therapists, and may have little more than a course or two in this field, and little if any supervised experience.
More information on couple, marriage and family therapy in BC can be found here: http://www.bcamft.bc.ca/ohana/website/index.cfm?p=95575656796
Information on couple, marriage and family therapy in Washington State can be found here: http://www.wamft.org/ohana/website/index.cfm?p=95575656262
Finally, information on the national association of family therapists can be found here:
http://www.aamft.org/imis15/AAMFT/Content/About_AAMFT/Qualifications.aspx?hkey=2d5f6fac-24c6-40fd-b74f-5f3eaf214e55
Your relationships are important. Make an informed choice, and find an informed professional.
For information about my practice please see my website at www.relatedminds.com or http://www.relatedminds.com/couple-family-therapy/
As it says, "Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is short-term psychotherapy originally designed to treat depression, but is now used for a number of mental illnesses. It works to solve current problems and change unhelpful thinking and behavior. The name refers to behavior therapy, cognitive therapy, and therapy based upon a combination of basic behavioral and cognitive principles. Most therapists working with patients dealing with anxiety and depression use a blend of cognitive and behavioral therapy."
Short term, behaviour and skill focused. A good place to look for more information about CBT is looking up the two therapist who originated CBT, Dr. Albert Ellis (who for a short time served as my supervisor and it is from his psychotherapy institute in New York where I earned my advanced certificate in CBT or, as it was called then, Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy, and Dr. Aaron Beck. I have also had the pleasure and privilege to attend trainings with Dr. Beck and others from his institute in Philadelphia.
I also see couples, and sometimes use CBT techniques with them, but often move to techniques and practices from Dr. John Gottman. Dr. Gottman has a training institute in Washington and focuses on working with couples. For more about Dr. Gottman and his form of couple's therapy click here: https://www.gottman.com/about-gottman-method-couples-therapy/
Gottman family therapy is really one of the few couple/marriage or family therapy methods that is based upon science, and you can read all about that on his web page above.
In addition to being a licensed and registered psychologist, my early training was in family therapy and I worked for many years as a couple's therapist and family therapist under my Marriage and Family Therapist license. I am currently a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist and a Clinical Member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.
Individuals who are Registered Family Therapists, or Licensed Family Therapists, generally have a two or three year MA or MS degree specifically in marriage and family therapy, with a specific set of coursework. Licensed and Registered Family Therapist have one or two years of full time supervised experience practicing marriage and family therapy under a specially trained therapist. I myself have completed towers in marriage and family therapy.
If you are interested in my services, please visit my website at either www.relatedminds.com or http://www.relatedminds.com/couple-family-therapy/ for more information. Whatever you decide to do, if your looking for help with a relationship, help with your marriage or help with your children, I suggest you consider a licensed or registered marriage and family therapist. While some counsellors claim to be family therapists or couples counsellors, they are not necessarily registered marriage and family therapists, and may have little more than a course or two in this field, and little if any supervised experience.
More information on couple, marriage and family therapy in BC can be found here: http://www.bcamft.bc.ca/ohana/website/index.cfm?p=95575656796
Information on couple, marriage and family therapy in Washington State can be found here: http://www.wamft.org/ohana/website/index.cfm?p=95575656262
Finally, information on the national association of family therapists can be found here:
http://www.aamft.org/imis15/AAMFT/Content/About_AAMFT/Qualifications.aspx?hkey=2d5f6fac-24c6-40fd-b74f-5f3eaf214e55
Your relationships are important. Make an informed choice, and find an informed professional.
For information about my practice please see my website at www.relatedminds.com or http://www.relatedminds.com/couple-family-therapy/
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